The time has come, BadBadIvy said, to talk of many things…
March 3, 2008 by Badbadivy
Ivy says:
My mom was reading Home Ec 101 this weekend, and she noted that Heather does a lot more instructional posts while I write a lot more commentary type posts. I was totally going to write a how-to post today to prove her wrong, but I’ve been fighting off the urge to write this post all weekend long. I can’t fight it any longer. So tomorrow, I’ll show you guys how to do something, but today, more commentary.
See, I’ve been seeing a rash of snotty commenters at many of the blogs I read that are in regards to food. None of y’all, of course, Home Ec 101 has the best commenters on the internet, hands down. But in other places, I’ve seen an interesting phenomenon that I feel needs to be addressed.
It’s the attack of the militant foodies. And I don’t mean foodies like Claudia or Lesley- I mean the people who will crucify a blogger because she dares post about deals on frozen chicken nuggets or posts a $50-feeding-a-family-of-four-for-a-week menu. Let me tell you kids, I don’t think you realize the privilege you have if you are able to avoid feeding your kids Tyson chicken nuggets for their entire lives.
This wraps up a whole lot of little issues into one place, this militant foodie-ism. First, the notion that everyone has the time and skills to make fabulous meals from scratchevery single day. Consider a single mom I know who gets off work at 5 PM, has a one hour commute, and by the time she gets home, she’s tired and hungry and her kid is starving because schools typically serve lunch at super-early times. So, she pops in a frozen pizza or some chicken nuggets, everyone’s fed. But then she goes on the internet and feels bad because she sees some mommy blogger getting eviscerated because she’s posting about Tyson chicken nuggets.
Now, we all know that there are better nutritional choices than frozen chicken nuggets. And we all know that from-scratch is better than processed and organic is better than conventional. But not everybody is working with enough funds to be able to afford organic, and many people who are tired from working all day don’t have the energy to cook from scratch, and they shouldn’t have to feel bad about their choices.
Instead, some kindly education is in order. For example, my single mom friend could learn to do the “Once A Month Cooking” thing. Heating up already frozen meals is just as fast as heating up chicken nuggets, and she could use the cooking time to both teach her kid to cook and spend some quality time with her.
And the $50 menu post? I know people who have precisely $50 a week to spend on food. They’re not doing it to be frugal. It’s all they have to spend. It can be done, and people who are saying it’s not possible to eat healthfully on $50 a week should try living poor for awhile. When you cook from scratch and don’t get all worked up about eating organic foods, feeding your family of 4 for $50 a week is possible, unless you live in some ridiculously high cost of living area.
Did you know that in poor urban areas, good produce can be hard to find? That the grocery stores in those areas may not even carry healthier choices? It’s sad, but true. Having lived in some of these areas, with nary a Kroger on the bus route, much less a Kroger that carries organic items, I know what this is like. The fact is, for people who are not educated on good nutrition and cooking, grabbing some chicken nuggets and frozen french fries seems like you’re feeding your kid a great meal.
So instead of speaking from a position of privilege, speak as an educator. Teach, don’t judge. People are far more likely to respond to your evangelism when you present it in a kindly, sharing way rather than looking down from above.
I know I’m largely preaching to the choir here- like I said, we have the best commenters on the internet, and we’ve not faced much of this criticism. However, the message needs to get out: sitting up on your high horse and looking down your nose at people isn’t a good thing, and it’s certainly not going to help anyone- it may be damaging your own cause.
* standing and applauding *
* also standing and applauding *
I couldn’t agree more. Feeding your kids frozen chicken nuggets is better than letting them starve, because you don’t have enough organic food in the house. And it’s better than letting them grab sugary cereal for dinner when you’re too tired to cook.
Each of us needs to do the best we can with the resources we have, and that’s going to look different for everyone.
Amen & Hallelujah!!!!!
Whew. This post made me feel better about the way i do things. Thanks!
We moms take too many guilt trips every day!! You must choose to do the best you can with what you have and make no apologies for it!! For some that means organic whole foods, for others that means having at least one veggie per meal…we won’t all fit the same mold, EVAH. And THAT is a good thing.
Why, why do women tear each other down instead of lifting each other up? What could be done if all that negativity was turned into positive energy?
Rock on, Ivy!
YOU GO GIRL.
Well said. And I’m a foodie.
Very well spoken/written.
Well done, my friend, well done.
Clapping
Amen, sister!
Sherry
Total agreement!
Well said, Ivy! Thanks!
See what I mean? Best commenters on the internet.
I guarantee you Tyson chicken nuggets are a thousand times better than, say, school lunch. At least with Tyson, you know it’s mostly chicken and not zoo animals or old gym mats.
Like the commentary, will wait for the how to!
People judge b/c it makes them feel better about themselves.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. You go girl!!!
I totally agree. Great post! Now, about $50 per week for food… where can I find a blog that can help me plan out a cheap and easy menu? (Other than this one, of course.)
People who have never been poor usually have no idea what it means in the day-to-day world. They’d see your comment about there not being a Kroger along the bus route and wonder why you didn’t just jump in the car..
Amen! I am now in the process of feeding my family of 6 for $80 a week, and I’ve never been so stressed. It doesn’t help that everything is suddenly so much more expensive, (am I the only one whose noticed?), and shopping with four babies is like herding ducks. I admit there are weeks where all I buy are frozen pizzas, pasta mixes, instant mashed potatoes and boxes of mac and cheese. It’s odd, but those are usually the weeks I spend more that I allotted….
Thanks dear Ivy!
Excellent!
And in the morning? I’m makin’ waffles!
I completely agree with you. Parents do the best job they can feeding their families given the parameters of their lives. Income, time, energy, fussy eaters, food availability all play a role. I’ve never walked a mile in someone else’s shoes, so I try really hard not to judge.
We spend $50 a week just on fresh produce. I can’t even imagine how hard it would be to try to feed a family healty fresh fruits and veggies with $50 as my entire food budget. I took a picture of one week’s worth of fruit and veggies a while back -
http://sallysays.typepad.com/sallysays/2008/01/fruits-and-vege.html
I feel so lucky to be able to buy such things. With the large amounts of fruits and veggies my kid likes to eat, there’s no way we can afford organic. I guess it’s all relative.
Yay, Ivy!!
Since becoming a parent, I’m realizing that judging other people’s methods of living is just wrong. It’s hurtful and it’s misinformed. Families need to make their own decisions and I need to butt out.
To Caitlin: there are several blogs that specifically address tiny food budgets. I’d click on the Frugal Hacker link on Home Ec 101 to find some. And of course, I bet Ivy is going to take up the challenge and give us some ideas!!
[...] Caitlin commented: [...]
I so agree! Most people don’t even think about the fact that those that live in the city have to deal with riding a bus, so they are limited as to what they can carry on a bus too - which isn’t much. I’ve noticed one thing whenever we’ve been downtown (we live in a rural area but live near the state capital) there are very few actual grocery stores in the city they are all out in the outer areas. And when we go shopping, we hit the outer rim since that is closer for us, and they are adding two new stores (Trader Joes and Whole Foods) and there is already a Wal-Mart Superstore, a Target Superstore (whatever it’s called), a Krogers, a Ukrops (Local grocery) and there’s a FoodLion (another grocery store) not 2 miles down the road (with more grocery stores not 5-10 miles down the road even from that)! It’s crazy.
I’ve noticed the increasing prices here, and since a trip to the grocery store isn’t just a quick trip. I’m trying to be better about only making 1 trip a week. If it’s something that I really can’t go without, my husband can at least pick it up on his way home since it’s not too badly out of his way (he works on the edge of “the big city”, I just don’t like to inconvenience him like that - not to mention he never bring home JUST that one thing.
I try to ignore most of it, but it really can get a person down about themselves. I think the anonymous comment bombs are the worst. I can stew about a comment for an entire day and I am trying to work on that. Good lawdy, if I was Perez Hilton I wouldn’t be able to live with myself
Preach on, sister!
Amen! We are all doing the best we can. I walked down to the ity bity market in my town the other day to try to buy some zuccini (this store does not carry organic-although I buy organic when I can). No zuccini. I asked and they told me they had to stop carrying it because they couldn’t afford to keep selling it. It was a slow selling item and they had to buy a certain amount in bulk. It just didn’t sell fast enough at this small-town store.
When we had our first child, I stayed home and my husband made $8 an hour. I walked to the store with the stroller. I was frugal because I had to be. (I had about $30 a month for groceries at one point.) However, anyone who reads this and is right there…chin up! ….someday you’ll be doing a little bit better, and be sooo glad you have the skills you learned while you were living so tightly! Promise!!