The Cleaning Imbalance

Dear Home Ec 101,

How can I make my husband help around the house?

Signed,

Nags Head, NC

Heather says:

I moved out quite young and lived with an interesting variety of roommates until I married.  Different people have different standards of cleanliness and tolerance.  If you are the Felix of your relationship, odds are you will carry more of the cleaning burden.   You can ask, but you cannot make your spouse or partner do anything.  This goes for those living with roommates, to a point.  As long as finances aren’t an issue, roommates have the somewhat less difficult option of dissolving the situation.

My best tip for achieving help around the house is to ask politely and directly when the other party is not busy.  Use the same courtesy you expect from others. Thank them when the are through and do NOT immediately fix what they have done.

I know many of our readers have been down this road and not every tactic works for every relationship; please share what you have found helpful in your situation.

You do have a choice when it comes to the maintenance of your home: you can wallow in resentment and self-pity or you can choose to maintain your surroundings to your* standards.

*If a spouse is both critical and unwilling to help, please seek professional advice.