Sunday Confessional September 19, 2010

Heather says:

This portion of Home Ec is just a place to get it off your chest.  It’s all too easy for me just to share the best parts of life, the Internet Snapshot, if you will. This is a skewed version of life and it’s not really what I want to portray, especially to young moms. Life is messy and we all have our less than glamorous moments. Even though I haven’t run this series in a few weeks, all three happened are current events.

File the first one under Bad Idea




A few nights ago, feeding the kids before we had to rush out the door, I made cheeseburger macaroni -no it wasn’t from a box, this isn’t the confession part- the kids hated it. Fine, we were late, whatever. We ran out the door and I forgot to put away the leftovers.  Fine, I decided they could be a treat  for the dog over the next few days. Someone in this house and I’m not mentioning names, but it rhymes with schmimothy gave the dog the leftovers all at once. Conveniently he hasn’t been home once to clean up the ramifications.

Next time I’ll just throw it away, it’ll save time and a whole bunch of paper towels.

My middle son is my daredevil child. There’s nothing too high to climb, there’s no adventure his older brother takes off on that he won’t follow out of spite and determination. He’s the one who is going to cause grey hair. He broke his dominant arm in July when he fell off his skateboard. Six weeks in a cast during the best parts of summer. Poor guy. Sunday night I tucked them in and went to bed early with my friend Benadryl thanks to my nemesis ragweed. It was my husband who heard him fall out of bed. We got him calmed down and tucked back in. I went back to bed to lie down, but could only toss and turn. So I decided to take him into the ER. Why? The whole time I (and I’m sure the doctor and nurse did, too until they saw the x-ray) thought I was being a bit dramatic, I mean it was out of a normal twin bed, onto a carpeted floor, what’s that 2.5 feet? And the kid? Oh he was gesturing with his arm, while jabbering away.

I think I went partly because I recognized that cry and partly because I know this kid is going to earn his frequent flyer badge for the ER and with the way they scrutinize parents now scares the pants off me. They ask everyone this question, but do you think a kid who just fell out of bed while sound asleep and broke his arm knows what is meant by, “Do you feel safe at home?” Kids don’t get subtext, especially not five year olds for whom closets, the dark, and the space under the bed are nightmare fodder.

Oh, the confession part? I forgot to get his x-rays for the orthopedist until the morning of the follow-up appointment. I had to call the ER in a panic to see if I could get a copy just before we had to make our 8:30am appointment 45 minutes away. Thank goodness, even in my smallish town that X-rays aren’t on film and are saved in an easily replicated data format. Thank God for modern technology. (He’s doing fine, but he hates telling people how he did it, even he knows there’s no cool factor in hurting yourself rolling out of bed. He loved to tell people the skateboard version.)

The last one is petty.

I hate going to my son’s football practice. He’s homeschooled, we see each other all day long, he’s not lacking one-on-one parental time. Someone on Twitter told me I’m supposed to watch him the entire time. Two hours? Four days a week, I’m supposed to sit on the sidelines and micromanage him? No. I’ll watch the actual games and yes, I’ll fuss at him during practice if I see him goofing off or misbehaving, but sorry random Twitter guy, sometimes a little space without Mom’s interference is what a kid needs. Also? I am not good at boredom. I bring a book.

The Sunday Confessional is open, share whatever you need to get off your chest, you can do it anonymously if you need, just keep it relatively clean. Have fun.



16 Comments

  1. Aiza on December 28, 2010 at 11:41 am

    I'm not yet a mother but i would really want go with my son or daughter someday in some of their practices because I know that will help you and you kids to have a good bonding that will leave in their minds while their growing up.. Nice blog! you give me some ideas!

  2. asyhre on September 20, 2010 at 6:46 pm

    My boys play hockey and it is down right cold in there… no thank you I will be where it is warm. I go in there during the games when they have the heaters on. My daughter does ballet and they do not let you in that room. Drop them off and pick them up 45 min later.

    As for my last week. I made a weeks worth of quick meal, nothing fancy here… my first week of work in 5 years and I worked almost 50 hrs. I think though we did keep it to only eating out twice. A little more thought will go into thins weeks meals, I hope.

  3. Amy at CreativeSpace on September 20, 2010 at 4:43 pm

    It's past Sunday, but I'm still going to confess: (drum roll) I let my child watch two hours of PBS Kids TV in the afternoon. She's 18 months and loves the talking animals. (They teach vocabulary words, but she has no clue about it. She just likes the talking dog, Martha.) Anyway, my extended family disapproves of TV. Most of them don't have a TV in the house, and although I rarely watch it, my husband is a sports nut. (The distant digital roar of the crowd is a constant now that fall has begun.) I'm home full time with her, and sometimes I need a distraction to get dinner made or some writing done. She's teething too. Logically, I know this is no big deal…but it still feels like dark indulgence.

  4. csleh on September 20, 2010 at 12:15 pm

    My daughter is 21 now, and I stayed for soccer practice only because it was a drive. I walked or read a book. I did the same for my son who is 13, but many more parents watched the practices like it was a game. It seems the message to parents has become 24 hours of "watch your kids! encourage all the time! always help them up!"
    I don't want an outside audience when I'm learning something, why should my kids?
    Good for you standing up to random twitter guy!

  5. Lucy on September 20, 2010 at 8:53 am

    LOL, I have noticed that moms of homeschooled kids are more than willing to retreat to the house during the kid's horseback riding lesson (and bless 'em, some wash my dishes or bring me coffee!), while public school kids have moms that want to watch and actually have trouble with the "No comments from the gallery" rule.

    My confession is that my hubby has been sick at home with pneumonia and I'm irritated at how underfoot he is! Husbands make lousy patients anyway. 2 more dayd until he returns to work!

    And I had a horrifying dream last night that every one of my clients called and said they couldn't pay their bills! I've been awake ever since…..

  6. ThatBobbieGirl on September 19, 2010 at 9:07 pm

    My son is done with his nickname if you wanna use it for your boy — I started calling him DangerBoy when he was about 5, and I was certain he'd never make it to 10. He's 17 now and understands that Mom Does Not Want To Know If He Does Anything Dangerous.

  7. amikim on September 19, 2010 at 5:45 pm

    hehe. My kids hate it when I quiz them about what happened in every quarter of soccer practice (or school or camp or . . . whatever). If they think it's smothering when I ask them about every moment of their activities (that I don't attend), why wouldn't it be smothering when I watch (and perhaps comment on or back-seat coach) every moment of their activities that I do attend? They'll report back on the highlights they deem important enough for me to know, no need to focus in on the details.

  8. tastelikecrazy on September 19, 2010 at 5:14 pm

    I feel ya with the dog. Sophie ate my birthday chocolate cake [that I made for myself] a couple of years ago while we were gone to dinner. Tucker got to clean that mess up since she's decided she's HIS dog.

    Boy who is determined to break every bone in his body? We went through a string of doctor's visits when Cara was about a year old for strange, still unexplained bumps she would get. Mind you, this was at a Navy base and a guy in Tucker's shop had his kids taken away for a week for suspicion of child abuse which ended up being a blood disorder. To make a long story not nearly as long, I know the "child services is coming for your kid" fear. I stressed for a month over that.

    And finally, football practice.

    You know I stay home with our kids. They're still young for "formal" school but I'm with them 24 hours/day. Just from a mom standpoint, it is A-OK for your kids to not be around you all the time. They need that "them" time.

    The only experience I've had with homeschooled kids is that "something ain't quiet right with that kid" experience which seems to be a pervasive stereotype. Said experience occurred when I was in Junior High and this guy/kid was drop-dead gorgeous and 100% micromanaged by his mother. I am not exaggerating when I say his mother would stand outside the bathroom door to ensure he washed his hands. Though hot as Hades, he went above and beyond the "mama's boy" thing and you don't want that. And it's weird.

    Also? Twitter is the passive–aggressive person's playground. Let all that roll off your back like water off a duck's back.

  9. Joyce on September 19, 2010 at 3:23 pm

    I didn't homeschool (nobody much did when my kids were growing up) and I still didn't sit through my son's practices — nor did much of anyone else I knew. Games yes but practices no. And I'm sure the coaches were much happier. Thinking back to those years, most of my kids' activities beyond toddler stuff mom or dad was expected to drop the kid off and go away. The only ones I was expected to be present for were my daughter's Suzuki violin lessons.

    Even birthday parties were drop off and pick up or even better, usually the host family arranged to get the kids home.

    • HeatherSolos on September 19, 2010 at 4:33 pm

      My best memories growing up were made on my own, I want my kids to have the chance to have those memories, too.
      I swear nothing gets on my nerves faster when I hear someone say, "With the way things are today."
      If the reports I've read are right, crime rates against kids have been falling; we're just hyper-aware of them.
      The 24 hour news cycle isn't doing our psyches a lot of good.
      Do I let my kids roam the streets unsupervised? Of course not, but in general, the stuff that happens to them would happen on anyone's watch, not just mine. I mean really, my kid broke his arm falling out of bed. I was asleep. it would have happened whether I was home or if he had a sitter.
      (This part isn't to you, Joyce)
      For Pete's sake, be aware of what your kids are doing and who they are doing it with, empower them with a sense of right and wrong, and let go and let God. Living in fear of the probably unpreventable is a rough way to live.

    • HeatherSolos on September 19, 2010 at 4:38 pm

      I also wanted to add, we don't homeschool for any idealogical reasons. We do it only because the district we're in is failing and the program has let our eldest work at his own pace. I don't know how long we'll continue, but it works for now. I only brought it up as it emphasized the point that the kid isn't lacking for parental attention. 😉

  10. Heather on September 19, 2010 at 2:59 pm

    I homeschool my daughter too and I send her to softball practice with her dad. I don't see anything wrong with that. I go to the games. I do think we need time apart and I need to get things done around the house.

    • HeatherSolos on September 19, 2010 at 4:40 pm

      My husband works rotating shifts, we share the chore based on that and coin tosses. The younger two love going and hanging out with other kids during the practice. They hate the games where no one is paying attention to them.

  11. Karen Stuteville on September 19, 2010 at 12:53 pm

    Homeschooler here, too! Although that is besidee the point for what I want to say to your Twit, er, I mean, Twitter follower.
    If a child must be watched every second, then the child is clearly not old enough for any kind of independent activity. Conversely, a child old enough for an independent activity is TOO OLD to be watched every second.
    Jeebus, Twit, allow some freedom: show some trust!

  12. Miranna on September 19, 2010 at 10:13 am

    Okay, I'll go first.

    We're homeschoolers, too. And there are days I use "home ec" as an excuse to clean the house. And there are days I spend WAY TOO much time on the computer instead of "teaching." My favorite educational product so far? A video by Leap Frog, called "The Letter Factory."

    Cut yourself some slack. No, you don't have to watch him the entire time. 😀

    • HeatherSolos on September 19, 2010 at 10:43 am

      Thanks lady, it's always a little weird posting these and waiting for that first comment to roll in. Did I say more than I should have?! ::nail biting:: Yeah, I'm a little neurotic, too add it to my list of faults.

      My son is also in violin, has been for over 3 years, so I totally admit to barely giving a nod to the provided music curriculum. I put the CDs in but I just use it more to broaden his exposure than anything else.
      .

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