Return of the stupid questions

 WinkIvy says:

It’s been awhile since Kathy T has graced us with her Stupid Questions. I’m glad they’re back! On with the questions.

1. I’m having a terrible time with my vacuum cleaner. It blows instead of sucking. I know this reads like a dirty back-of-the-video-store room, but it’s my carpet that’s the dirty boy. What’s the deal?

It sounds like you may have a clog in your vacuum cleaner. Try taking it apart and trying to find the clog.
2. My old smelly cat will not stay off our kitchen table at night, though she knows it’s forbidden. We get up every morning to find huge tufts of hair all over our once-clean surface. Besides stacking my glasses upside down all over the table every night (which I’ve done) to keep her off, do you have any suggestions? I can’t stand my cats on the table or countertops.

I’d use shallow baking pans with water or crumpled tinfoil along the edges of the table. Cats hate how tinfoil feels on their paws, so this is usually a good solution.
3. My daughter and I walked all over the grocery store last night talking with an English accent. We were ‘aving a laugh! As we were leaving, the check out kid flirted in a grand way. My daughter thinks he was flirting with me. I’m the exact opposite of Posh Spice (except I’m a chick, too), so I’m absolutely positive it wasn’t me. How can I convince my daughter that it was HER he was flirting with? I’d like to keep building her self-esteem before she goes off to college in two years.

You can’t, man, teens are weird. Seriously.
4. I’ve never had a pedicure and a new agent in my office is trying to convince me to have one to relax. What exactly is involved?

Pedicures are the best things ever invented! You go sit in a massage chair with this foot spa attached, and then you soak your feet in the foot spa while relaxing with the massage chair. Then the pedicure people do tickly things to your feet for a good 20 minutes. They wrap hot towels around your calves and then massage them. Best $25 you will ever spend, I promise. My advice: wear sandals to get your pedicure, you’ll want to show your cute feets off afterwards!
5. I need to remove some labels stuck on an old metal filing cabinet. What works best?

Goo gone.
6. I’m seeing way too many little ant hills around my yard. Should they be terminated with extreme prejudice?

At least they’re little ant hills and they might not be fire ants. Even so, terminate with extreme prejudice. I despise ants.
7. And spiders too! Eek!

It’s bad luck to kill spiders, though.


  1. Reef tank addict on December 30, 2007 at 2:55 am

    Goo Gone works great for anything greasy or oily. It’s great for those dreaded sticky price stickers.

  2. Ghillie Suit on December 9, 2007 at 12:14 am

    LOL, I saw “dog” in “clog” also!

  3. Milehimama on July 30, 2007 at 11:48 am

    Cats despise orange peels – I put them on the potted plants to keep them from digging. Perhaps you could make some orange potpourri and place bowls on the table?

  4. Pam on July 29, 2007 at 6:04 pm

    On some vacs there is actually a switch or button you can push to get that “reverse” effect…..Check on that possibility….Pam South Bend

  5. Ifeedformula on July 28, 2007 at 1:54 pm

    I’ve had people tell me I’m out of my gourd for actually ENCOURAGING spiders to live in my yard. It helps reduce the amount of bad bugs, I think. Plus I just think spiders are cool.

  6. Chucker on July 28, 2007 at 9:26 am

    I’m still laughing …at myself.

    Your first entry I read as a possible “DOG” in the vacuum cleaner. I put on my glasses and see you suggested there might be a CLOG.

    As a cat person, I could accept my first impression.

  7. Pam on July 27, 2007 at 7:50 pm

    My sister-in-law bought something from the pet store that is a motion activiated aerasol can (the size of a can of spray paint)of air…..when the cat walks by it spays her with air…yes…just plain air….doesn’t hurt her but scares the be-jeebers–out of her and she no longer gets up on the counter….if you want me to find out the exact name of it let me know…but this may give you enough info to find it…..Pam from South Bend

  8. Tink on July 27, 2007 at 5:46 pm

    “It’s bad luck to kill spiders, though.”

    But worse to have one bite ya on the eyelid. It itches like heck and makes ya look like you’ve gone rounds with Tyson..

    and lost.