Helping Out the Googlers

girlHeather says:

I enjoy seeing what brings Home Eccers to our site and I spend far too much time looking at our statistics. Every once in a while the queries either repulse me or cause me to laugh hysterically. I won’t share the depraved, but here are a couple that gave me a giggle.

  • Kool-aid Satan – No, but if you give my two year old red dye #40 he’ll give Old Scratch a run for his money.
  • Stop Hitmen Getting into My House – Really, Ivy and I try not to tick anyone off quite that badly.
  • Why am I addicted to dry oatmeal? – I kind of like it myself and it’s healthy so there are worse things to be “addicted” to.
  • See me in my house on internet – Not likely, but wipe your cheek, you have a little schmutz. No, not there, a little to the left. There, you got it.
  • Make a house look clean without cleaning – Unless you hire out, you’re going to have to do a little, sorry.
  • Flames shoot out of oven – Please use your fire extinguisher or hang up and dial 911

Finally we have my favorite and the one I am posing to you, Home Eccers – Excuses to get rid of your mother?


  1. Rachel R. on January 31, 2008 at 2:35 pm


    Some of those things, I can’t believe people are Googling at all!

    (On the flames part – if there are flames shooting out of your oven and it’s due to the oven itself, you probably have a GE, and you might as well give up on getting them to do anything about it – they say it’s normal. Buy a new oven.)

  2. moonablaze on January 31, 2008 at 12:44 am

    schmutz is definitely a yiddish term, but it comes from german, so it’s likely that it came down in the PA Dutch lexicon as well.

    -moonablaze, who wishes she knew MORE yiddish.

  3. Makeshift Mama on January 30, 2008 at 8:01 pm

    Isn’t “schmutz” Yiddish?

  4. Margaret on January 30, 2008 at 3:10 pm

    SCHMUTZ!!! You know that word!! Unlike Claudia, I still hear (and use) that word – and many other Pennsylvania Dutch words! But now I’m wondering if that is really PA Dutch, or if it’s just slang from some other Germanic backgrounds. . . hmmmmm.

  5. Patia on January 30, 2008 at 1:14 pm

    Hilarious. I love the idea that somebody used Google to try to evade hitmen.

  6. claudia at 'cook eat FRET' on January 30, 2008 at 12:48 pm

    that is pretty funny but the best part was that you used the word “shmutz” cause i grew up on that word and never hear it anymore…

  7. Lisa- Domestic Accident on January 30, 2008 at 11:45 am

    Do you need an excuse to get rid of your mother?


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