Dont beat yourself up over non-productiveness

retrochick.JPGIvy says:

Darling Home-Eccers, I would like to apologize about the lack of updates this week. Heather has family in town all week, and while I was totally planning on covering everything this week, I have managed to hit the trifecta of feeling crappy.

First, my hidradenitis suppurativa has had a very major flare-up, leading to my having to go to the doctor to get that fixed up. So, there’s pain. And then I started a new birth control pill this week to get the disaster that is my period sorted out. It has a side effect that is supposed to go away with time- nausea. It’s about as bad as morning sickness except this comes on in the afternoons and hits hard until I go to bed. So, pain and nausea.

But wait! There’s more! All the trees have decided to bloom this week, so it’s time for my spring allergies to come in. So, pain and nausea and a snotty head. Fun, fun, fun.

That said, it reminds me of how a lot of us tend to beat ourselves up when we can’t get as much done as we would like. Kids, I’m here to tell you that sometimes you just can’t pump out as much work as you would like to. Perhaps it’s medically related, as I’m dealing with this week. Perhaps it’s because you have relatives visiting or you have a million activities to deal with. Or maybe you are just scattered and can’t get your act together to get everything done. No matter the reason, just don’t beat yourself up over that.

Worrying about being behind and having lots to do is taking up valuable time and energy, don’t worry about it. Instead, make a giant list of everything that needs to be done. Put stars beside the high priority items and just start working your way through your list. Make sure you tell yourself that there’s no way you can accomplish it all right away, so don’t let your list hang over your head as a worry. No, this is a tool to help you get it done, not an indictment of how much you have left to do.

Don’t worry- eventually you’ll get caught up. Just take it one day- or even one hour- at a time.  You can do it, I have faith in you!


  1. Margaret on March 21, 2008 at 1:25 pm

    Ivy, so true!! I love what Anne Lamott wrote about it (quoting roughly, here): that we should be kind to ourselves, taking ourselves by the hand like we would our favorite little old aunt, and being gentle.
    When I remember to be kind to myself about not getting everything done, I am much more at peace!

  2. Bramble on March 21, 2008 at 8:48 am

    Only thing I’ve produced in 7 years is children!

  3. shawna lee on March 20, 2008 at 12:24 pm

    Feel better soon! Also, I’m unable to leave a comment to the contest. I’ve blogged it, but want to be entered. Off to clean my bathrooms…

  4. Org Junkie on March 20, 2008 at 1:11 am

    Excellent advice, we aren’t superwoman so it’s time we stopped acting like one!

  5. Jasi on March 19, 2008 at 9:39 pm

    Thanks for reminding me!

    Worrying over this kind of thing is so much more counter productive than just taking time out and getting myself sorted first before tackling the house.

    Priorities are feed the kids, family hygiene and playtime. The rest will just -have- to wait.

  6. Mrs.W on March 19, 2008 at 5:15 pm


    I think we all need to be reminded of this from time to time.

    I’m pretty relaxed about things… hey, if it doesn’t get done, it doesn’t get done. And here’s my little tip: if all the high-priority items on my list are lengthy, time-consuming or otherwise aggravating, getting a quick-to-do item checked off is a great motivator! (And de-stressor.)

  7. Claudia (cook eat FRET) on March 19, 2008 at 4:20 pm

    hey great advice, seriously.

    and i really hope you get to feeling better FAST.

  8. AllisonWonder on March 19, 2008 at 3:26 pm

    I was doing so well on keeping up with the housework; I was so proud of myself for managing to get the dishes and some cleaning done every day, even with a toddler and a new baby. Silly me- I forgot that eventually, new babies aren’t sleeping all the time any more, and it’s impossible to get anything done! Right now I can’t beat myself up over what doesn’t get done- I can only tell my husband to be grateful for what DOES get done while he’s at work!

    Get well soon!

  9. FireMom on March 19, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    Thank you for posting this. I was just berating myself for not having started the laundry or cleaned the bathroom yet today.

    Here’s hoping you feel better soon!