Cookie-a-day: The sometimes things don’t work out edition

retrochick.JPGIvy says:

So Heather’s having problems with her internet connection being spotty and I’ve been sick for the last 2 days. I am feeling loads better today although I’m still not totally up to par. So Heather asked me to make the cookies today and I told her, “No problem!” Except, since I was sick this weekend I didn’t buy any groceries, so there’s very little actual food in the house. No margarine, no butter. That makes it a bit hard to make cookies. But, no problem, I thought, I’ll cheat and use the ingredients search at allrecipes to find a recipe for cookies.

Seems like a plan, eh? Sure. I found this recipe for Scottish Lace cookies which sounded tasty, but got a good review and a bad review. I figured the bad review was due to not following directions exactly. See, I’m a good baker but a terrible cook- largely because I need precise directions to follow and I do not like to deviate from the directions*. Well, that and I’m horribly unlucky when it comes to cooking things. Let me tell you about the time I burned water some other time, mmmkay?

So I made the cookies exactly as they were written in the recipe. I followed the one commenter’s suggestion to put the cookies on greased parchment paper so they wouldn’t stick. The batter tasted fabulous. (Yes, I am all about braving the salmonella so I can eat cookie dough.) I stuck the cookies in the preheated oven and I waited, dreaming about what the cookies would taste like baked, since the batter was so darn tasty.

And this is what they looked like when I pulled them out of the oven.

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Yeah, that second review? Where the eggs separated from the oats? That’s not my review. That’s just EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. And now my whole house smells like fried eggs.  And I used an actual hand mixer for mine. And my eggs were fresh. And my oatmeal was brand spanking new. The only thing I didn’t do was try grinding the oatmeal and that’s largely because I can’t find my coffee grinder. But, really, I’m so disappointed I won’t be trying these cookies again.

Unless I want to brave salmonella again and eat that batter. It was seriously good. So, no cookie of the day for us today, just a slightly amusing story (with pictures) so you can point and laugh at my kitchen mishaps.

*Seriously, there’s nothing I hate more than seeing a recipe get a bad review on allrecipes or some other cooking community when the reviewer says, “I substituted practically everything and the recipe was SO BAD!” Um, yeah, dude, follow the actual RECIPE. That might be helpful.



7 Comments

  1. Carol on December 18, 2007 at 1:44 pm

    Thanks for the chuckle. And BTW, why make homemade cookies if you can’t eat the batter???

  2. Heather on December 18, 2007 at 9:20 am

    That’s why I love ya.

    Thanks for taking one for the team. My Internet seems to be all better, but of course it was something on “MY” end messing up. I spent forever on hold just to be told it couldn’t possibly be their end, yet, I haven’t changed a thing.

    Right.

  3. newscoma on December 18, 2007 at 7:07 am

    Ivy, you make me smile.

  4. Ron on December 18, 2007 at 1:43 am

    You say your house smells like fried eggs like that’s a bad thing.

  5. Angie @ Many Little Blessings on December 17, 2007 at 10:48 pm

    Oh yuck! Sorry that happened! I just hate when I put all the time, effort, and resources into making something and then have it not turn out.

  6. Badbadivy on December 17, 2007 at 10:05 pm

    That’s the worst part! It’s too dang cold to open the windows! So I’m going around spraying febreze all over the place and now my house smells like febreze and fried eggs! Argh!

  7. Margolis on December 17, 2007 at 10:03 pm

    Thanks for making me laugh! I ADORE eating cookie batter, but I have remarkably submitted to the demands of pregnancy and abstained this season. sighhhhh
    Pregnant or not, I hate the smell of fried eggs in the house. Hope it airs out soon!

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