Cookie-a-day: The sometimes things don’t work out edition

Ivy says:

So Heather’s having problems with her internet connection being spotty and I’ve been sick for the last 2 days. I am feeling loads better today although I’m still not totally up to par. So Heather asked me to make the cookies today and I told her, “No problem!” Except, since I was sick this weekend I didn’t buy any groceries, so there’s very little actual food in the house. No margarine, no butter. That makes it a bit hard to make cookies. But, no problem, I thought, I’ll cheat and use the ingredients search at allrecipes to find a recipe for cookies.

Seems like a plan, eh? Sure. I found this recipe for Scottish Lace cookies which sounded tasty, but got a good review and a bad review. I figured the bad review was due to not following directions exactly. See, I’m a good baker but a terrible cook- largely because I need precise directions to follow and I do not like to deviate from the directions*. Well, that and I’m horribly unlucky when it comes to cooking things. Let me tell you about the time I burned water some other time, mmmkay?

So I made the cookies exactly as they were written in the recipe. I followed the one commenter’s suggestion to put the cookies on greased parchment paper so they wouldn’t stick. The batter tasted fabulous. (Yes, I am all about braving the salmonella so I can eat cookie dough.) I stuck the cookies in the preheated oven and I waited, dreaming about what the cookies would taste like baked, since the batter was so darn tasty.

And this is what they looked like when I pulled them out of the oven.

Yeah, that second review? Where the eggs separated from the oats? That’s not my review. That’s just EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED TO ME. And now my whole house smells like fried eggs.  And I used an actual hand mixer for mine. And my eggs were fresh. And my oatmeal was brand spanking new. The only thing I didn’t do was try grinding the oatmeal and that’s largely because I can’t find my coffee grinder. But, really, I’m so disappointed I won’t be trying these cookies again.

Unless I want to brave salmonella again and eat that batter. It was seriously good. So, no cookie of the day for us today, just a slightly amusing story (with pictures) so you can point and laugh at my kitchen mishaps.

*Seriously, there’s nothing I hate more than seeing a recipe get a bad review on allrecipes or some other cooking community when the reviewer says, “I substituted practically everything and the recipe was SO BAD!” Um, yeah, dude, follow the actual RECIPE. That might be helpful.