Breakfast the Most Important Meal of the Day

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Dear Home Ec 101,

I have an 8 am Philosphy class, but I find that a cup of coffee and the crust from last night’s pizza is never enough to power me through my demanding 12 credit minimum. Do you have any no-effort suggestions, Taster’s Choice is pretty taxing already.

Signed,

Anemic in Akron

Heather says:

Scientists agree skipping breakfast is the fast-track to bad health, but who has that kind of time?

Well, you’re in luck the fine folks at Hot Pockets® have solved your breakfasty dilemma. Here’s a handy tutorial, just for busy people like you.

Read the box and note, it must be nutritious, it has real cheese.

Open BoxOpen the box.

Remove the wrapped breakfast pastry.

Open and remove the protective barrier

Place the pastry in the handy cooking sleeve / carrying case.

Microwave for two minutes on high.

Admire your handiwork.

Serve with appropriate garnish and sides.

Enjoy the rest of your April Fool’s Day.

Comments

  1. says

    The whole time I was scrolling down I thought 'Wait WHAT? A frigging HOT POCKET? B-b-b-but the sodium! And the horribleness! Wait what?"

    You got me. Nice touch with the anti-diarrheals. :)

  2. says

    You got me. I was ready to give you a whack upside the head coz I thought you'd gone over to the dark side!
    My recent post The Potty Police? You'll be relieved to know they're on the job

  3. says

    You got me. I was ready to give you a whack upside the head coz I thought you'd gone over to the dark side!
    My recent post The Potty Police? You'll be relieved to know they're on the job

  4. Becca says

    I had that comedian's voice in my head "Hot Pock-ets" the whole time I was reading. I love April 1st!! But, I must say, as I first saw the hot pockets I was wondering why you would recommend these.

    Great gag…..

    • sydney says

      @ Becca: were you thinking of Jim Gaffigan?

      @ Heather: I thought you fell and bumped your head at first. lol. good one.

  5. Stacy says

    I was about to get indignant too. What??? Did she actually recommend that? Then when you were giving the tutorial I thought, "Boy, maybe she's in a snarky mood today!" Okay, cute joke. At the very start I was thinking of a cool recipe I saw for "breakfast cookies." Yes, cookies. Here's the link: http://highaltitudecooking.blogspot.com/2008/11/b… It's a high-altitude cooking blog, but she says that cookies aren't usually changed for high altittude. So, for anyone who actually DOES want a quick breakfast, here's something to try!

  6. caryn verell says

    for those who still grab breakfast or any quick bit at fast food joints beware…mcdonalds located inside the super walmart in millington tn is now asking if you are eating in or out…and if you are eating in they are adding a charge for that…and you won't know about the charge until they give you a receipt…cost me .51 cents for my elderly mother and i to eat-in day before yesterday and i probably would not have known except i inquired why our bill was $6.00 even which is a very odd occurrence.

    • says

      Was that the sales tax? Some states are changing what sales tax is charged on.

      I know that in Ohio you used to have to pay sales tax only if you ate in the restaurant. (Don't know if it's still like that) In PA you pay sales tax either way.
      My recent post The Potty Police? You'll be relieved to know they're on the job

      • caryn verell says

        no, the .51 cents was not the sales tax…is was an additional charge called eatin. it was a first for me-being as i am so frugal that i rarely do the fast food thing (this was the first time in almost two years). next time when the cashier asks if i am eating in, i will ask why? and if there is a charge for it then they can just bag it for me and i will go sit outside.

  7. Sarah Jane says

    Oh, you got me too! Hot Pockets, indeed!
    But the question is still an interesting one. I had a recipe for a breakfast muffin that was supposed to be a good nutritional value. Is that ever true do you think?
    Boiled eggs are great if you like them, or a hunk of cheese and a handful of nuts that you can nibble on while you walk to the bus. A high protein smoothie can be mixed the night before. Any more ideas?

  8. Mary Ann says

    Yep, you got me too! I didn’t even think about April Fools! When I saw the “admire your handiwork” pic, my stomach turned, just thinking about that horrible ‘crust,’ oozing that gunk. Great start to the day (your joke)!!!

    I’ll tell my sister about the “eat-in” charge–she lives near Millington.

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