Because The Onion really cares about us

Ivy says:

My buddy Jess over at Sassafrass hooked it UP today with a link to the best household hints EVER. Some choice tips:

You may find yourself lying in bed at night beside your husband thinking, “Is this all?” It isn’t, sister. With a cup of corn starch in your sheet laundry, you can achieve those perfect hospital corners.

I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to me. Mr. Ivy’s and my marriage is saved!

Do you often find yourself wishing there were more hours in the day? Juggling a career, a home, and a relationship can be hard, but you can’t let any one of those things go, or you will be a failure as a woman. Taking a regular dose of methamphetamine will give you the energy to successfully manage all three and spare you the inconvenience of sleep.

I knew those moms that run the PTO and everything else had a secret way to keep their energy level up and stay thin all at the same time. Now we all know!

Liberate yourself from household chores: Have children!

My children complain that I am making them slave away so I can spend more time on the computer. I call that “teaching them valuable life skills”.

Go over there, there’s a lot of fun stuff! Thank you, The Onion!

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