Sunday Confessional: This Is How It Ends

retrochick.JPGIvy says:

My grandmother passed away at about 5 this morning. We’re sad that she’s no longer here on earth, but we rejoice since we know her name is written in the Lamb’s Book of Life and we will see her again one day in Heaven. As always, she was the polar opposite of my other grandmother and wound down very slowly, being off all ther tubes and IVs for the past 15 days. My confession: I’m relieved. This means things can get back to normal. A new normal, yes. One without my grandma. But one where everybody isn’t stretched so thin and we’re not all tired and somewhat angry. I feel the slightest bit bad that I feel relieved, but even as my tears fall for my lost grandmother, I know that she was one of the most practical people I have known and she would totally understand my relief.

And it’s a nice thought that she’s back to the grandma I have always known, not the hollow shell of herself that she had become these last few years because of dementia. She is no longer with us here on earth, but now I have both of my grandmas up in Heaven, looking down and keeping watch for me. That part feels good.

If I had been keeping up with my personal blog, I would give her a eulogy of sorts there, but since I haven’t posted there in more than a year, it feels false and wrong to do that there. So, I’ll do it here. Click if you want to read on.

Clarence & MildredMy grandmother was born September 3, 1917 and lived to be 91 years old, dying today, March 15, 2009. She was an Indiana farm girl who married the handsome guy from the “farm next door.” She was quite the beauty in her time, and was considered to be a great catch.

She was extremely practical, having grown up during the Depression and later dealing with being extremely poor as her husband was unable to work much the last few years of his life. She taught me most of what I know about economy and thrift. She taught me much about saving money and what the important things in life are- not money, but family.

She had an interesting life, living mostly in Indiana and being a housewife, but also moving with her husband to Pasadena, California when he was a SeaBee. She also worked at Delco Remy while the war was on. She had her children a bit later in life, she was 34 when my dad was born and he was the middle child.

She always kept a huge garden and I remember very clearly going to pick strawberries and blackberries and rhubarb in her garden. She kept a compost heap way, way before it was cool, and she took less trash out to the garbage men than anyone I have ever known in my life. So, I suppose I can also say she taught me all about being green, way, way before it became trendy.

She was also a complete romantic, an interesting aside to the practical side of her. She lost her husband when he was only 53 years old and never remarried. From what I understand, he was the great love of her life. We don’t know if her husband is in Heaven or not, but I like to think that he is and they are back together, only this time, forever.

Goodbye, Grandma. I’ll miss you.


  1. DC Becca on March 17, 2009 at 5:30 am

    I only just read this posting…..and I just wanted to pass on a virtual hug to you and the rest of your family.

    I cannot imagine what this must be like for you…..but do hope your “new” normal comes on wings powered by wonderful memories from the past.

  2. Judith on March 17, 2009 at 1:11 am

    Our sympathies, Ivy, to you and yours. May you all find comfort in the Redeemer and joy in your memories.
    My mother was also born in 1917 — though she was a city girl, born and raised in NYC. She married the love of her life in 1941; Dad passed away at 75 in 1993. Mom’s still making it from day to day, though at a much slower pace!
    I agree that we can learn alot from their generation, and the ones before, about care for the earth, thrift, and priorities. “Green” isn’t a new idea!

  3. Leigh on March 16, 2009 at 5:46 pm

    Ivy, I’m so sorry to hear that your grandmother passed away. I’m so glad that she knew the Lord – what a wonderful thing to have assurance of!

  4. Badbadivy on March 16, 2009 at 12:48 pm

    Thank you so much everyone, for your love and comments, it means a lot to me. 🙂

  5. Carye on March 16, 2009 at 6:18 am

    Ivy, I’m very sorry for your loss but understand the relief you felt with her finally passing, finally not being in pain, finally back to herself, and I do think your grandfather was there in heaven waiting for her. What a loving tribute to a loving woman.

  6. Kristin on March 16, 2009 at 1:11 am

    It is an incredible feeling to be so sad and relieved and happy to see family and thankful that the waiting is over and once again, sad that a family member has passed on.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  7. Pam on March 15, 2009 at 8:44 pm

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. What a blessing to know you will see her again in eternity. God Bless, Pam, South Bend

  8. Keter on March 15, 2009 at 5:51 pm

    I’m sorry to hear of your grandmother’s passing, and I completely understand your relief. It sounds like you have some wonderful memories of her, and better yet, memories you are keeping alive in your daily life. That makes her a little bit immortal, as her spirit lives on through you, and through the lessons you pass on to your children and to your readers.

    Blessings to your family, and the next time you feel her presence, give your grandma a wink for me. ;o)

  9. Charlotte on March 15, 2009 at 4:20 pm

    I’ve followed your posts about your grandmother’s illness and know that this is a relief for you as well as a great loss. I’m glad that you know your grandmother is happy and in a much better place. I will keep you in my prayers. The “eulogy” was lovely.

  10. tink on March 15, 2009 at 4:07 pm

    Ivy, you and your family are in my thoughts.

  11. holly wynne on March 15, 2009 at 3:31 pm

    Beautiful, Ivy. Thinking of you.

  12. Carol on March 15, 2009 at 12:22 pm

    Beautiful tribute. Sorry about your loss.

  13. Robin Suiter on March 15, 2009 at 11:24 am

    I am sad to hear of your grandmothers passing. She will be free of pain now. I will keep you in my thoughts. Take care

  14. Angela on March 15, 2009 at 11:11 am

    Wow, that was really nice… She was very pretty in that picture, I just love old pictures.

  15. Mom of three on March 15, 2009 at 9:56 am

    I am sorry for your loss, but happy for Grandma’s gain! At least now you can rest your body, mind and spirit, knowing she truly is in a much better place.
    Take it easy for a few weeks. Rest, relax and slowly move back into normal life. Laundry has a way of taking care of itself at times like these.

  16. chele on March 15, 2009 at 8:49 am

    I’m sorry for your loss.. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  17. Malia on March 15, 2009 at 8:23 am

    What beautiful tribute! I, for one, am so glad that you posted it here because her life is resembled so many of the things you and Heather are trying to pass on to everyone through this site. It’s very fitting that she be remembered here.

    Grandparents are such special people in our lives and it’s always hard to lose them no matter what the circumstances are. I know what you mean by feeling relieved. When I lost my grandmothers, it was relief from 2 different angles. Relief as in “finally it has happened” for one because she had been going downhill for so long and relief as in “thank goodness she didn’t linger and suffer for years” for the other since her decline was more rapid. We know our grandmas are in a better place now, watching over us and yes, that does feel good.

    I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family now as you go through the matters of death and adjust to your new normal.

  18. Jamie on March 15, 2009 at 8:11 am

    Your grandmother was absolutely beautiful. Loved reading this tribute about her. I love realizing how so much of the cool going green trend was really started by our own grandmas.

    Take care Ivy.

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