Ivy says:

First, disclosure- I was not asked for or paid for this review. This comes purely out of the goodness of my own heart, though if the fine folks at Holiday World happen to see this review and want to send me some tickets, I’d be glad to take them and come back again, haha.

I am a big fan of traveling. I’m also a big fan of theme parks and roller coasters and all of those sorts of fun things. What I am not a fan of, however, is spending money. Whenever we go on vacation whether it’s a trip out to the beach or a trip to a theme park or even if we stay in town and go to something like the Renaissance Festival, on top of everything I’m having a great time. Underneath, in the dark recesses of my brain, my inner accountant is toting up every dime we spend. And every time I spend any money, my inner accountant tells me “Ivy, this is money we could have been saving. I am very disappointed in you.”

Last summer-ish, I started following @holidayworld on Twitter. Between the Tweets saying the water temp in Splashin’ Safari was 89 degrees (I like to swim in bathtub-like conditions) and my kids bugging me to death thanks to the approximately 8,971 commercials running daily in the Nashville area, I considered taking the fam. But oy! Ticket prices were 40 bucks for people over 52 inches tall, and since we come from a tall family, that meant 3 of us paying that price. And I had been to Holiday World when I was 13. I knew it had surely gotte better in recent times, but when I went, it sucked. No, I told everyone last summer. We are NOT going to Holiday World.

Then this summer came. More tempting Tweets and more begging from the kids. Then I happened to hear a ad for Holiday World on the radio. “Free unlimited soft drinks! Free unlimited sunscreen!” a cheery voice shouted at me from the speaker. “Hmm,” I thought. “Now, this might be worth it.”

As anyone who’s been to a theme park or two (and has been the one paying the bils) knows, they get you coming and going. Ticket prices. Parking. $5 for a soda that you either have to have someone stand around holding while you ride rides or set it down and hope people haven’t spit in it when you come back. Then 8.2 million dollars to eat lunch. By the time my inner accountant has totaled a day at a theme park, he is very disappointed in me, indeed.

So I spent some time looking at prices of hotel rooms in the area, and finally, I just said “whatever, dudes, I want to go somewhere this summer” and booked a room. “Kids,” I announced, “we’re going to Holiday World.” Commence massive joy and cheering.

Now, I used to live in Huntingburg Indiana, and I recall vividly the nightmare it was to drive anywhere. Highway 231 is a hilly, curvy road apparently designed by drunken monkeys. And there are no major interstates particularly close by, I thought, other than 64, which is fine if you’re coming from Louisville, but forget it otherwise. I was wrong on this score, however. The drive from Nashville to Holiday World is a pleasant, 3-ish hour trip made largely on 65 and the William H. Natcher Parkway. I don’t know who ol’ William H. Natcher is, but he must have been awesome to have such a fabulous parkway named after him. There was next to no traffic and it’s a real interstate with no stoplights, and it’s nice and flat and straight. You only have to spend about  half hour on 231, and that part was designed by sober monkeys, so it’s not too bad.

Now, about Holiday World. My impression when it was 13 was that it sucked, but it has occurred to me that everything sucked when I was 13. Or, it might have really sucked back then, but it’s improved massively since. I don’t know. But what I can say as a mature, worldly 33 year old is that it definitely doesn’t suck. Nay, it actually rocks. It is the cleanest theme park I have ever seen. The employees were very friendly. And then there’s that frugal part. My inner accountant was actually happy with me.

That free unlimited drinks thing isn’t just clever marketing. Soft drinks are, indeed free. And there are free drink stations all over the place. Same with the sunscreen. But not only that, the food at the park is pretty tasty and VERY reasonably priced. There are 5 people in my family. 3 of us eat like adults. We spent…get this… $27.48 on lunch for all 5 of us. I regularly spend more on (SHHH!!! Don’t tell the food police!) fast food for all of us. Then we spent another $3.48 for a plethora of ice cream, making the total amount spent at the park on food and drinks just over $30. Spending only $30 for 5 people to eat and drink in a theme park for one day is unheard of. I was amazed. And happy.

Now, how are the rides and stuff? Pretty good, I must say. I’m an Opryland kid, so I’m always a little disappointed when there aren’t big, loopy roller coasters all over the place, but the wooden roller coasters that are there are pretty fabulous. The Raven was actually my favorite, but the men in my family were fans of The Voyage. But with Splashin’ Safari right there, I quickly forgot my dismay at the no-big-loopy-upside-down-rollercoaster-thing and discovered the 2 “rivers” that are in Splashin’ Safari. Yeah, yeah, waterslides. Fabulous. No, there are these rides called the “Bahari River” and the “Congo River.” THOSE are the rides I’m all about. You sit your bottom down in an innertube and float around them. That’s all. There are some waterfalls in them which you can choose to go under or avoid. I’m slightly embarrassed to say the little kids and I spent a good 2 hours floating around and around the Bahari River. We decided we needed one of these for the house.

I’m over a thousand words already in this post, and I could go another couple thousand, so let me just sum up for the tl; dr crowd: Holiday World is a theme park you will definitely enjoy. It satisfies your inner cheapskate AND your inner adventurer. If you’re in Nashville, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Louisville, etc, etc, etc.- drop everything and GO NOW. Heck, if you’re further away, come on and visit anyway. It is an excellent experience.