Sunday Confessional: Holy Crap Edition

retrochick.JPGIvy says:

I skipped church this morning to sleep in and clean house. It’d be awesome if this was the ONLY thing I have to confess, but wait! There’s more! Apparently while I was asleep, my youngest kid decided to tear up a bunch of those popsicle things that start out looking like colored water and then you freeze them. My uncle gave them to us. Can I admit here how much that irritates me? I hate those things. :/ I mean, it was nice of him to think of us, but ugh.

So, I have this giant popsicle water mess on my couch. And my kitchen floor. So I was planning on how to clean this best when I realized my uncle (the same one that gave us the popsicle things) has my carpet and upholstery cleaner. Can I get it back from him to clean this mess? No, he’s using it, he says. So I go into my laundry room to see if I have enough rags to at least stem the mess until I can get my carpet and upholstery cleaner back. OMG. Cat boxes. Nasty. What in the world happened? Did the cats have a pooing party last night? Or have I just been neglecting them?

I go to find clothes to put on because, whatever, I’ll just rent a rug doctor. No clean underwear. My problem lately? Failure to plan. Finally, I find in the depths of my closet a pair of OLD granny panties from when I was pregnant. I throw them and some clothes on, and I’m heading out to rent a rug doctor and buy some new underwear. Yes, yes, I’ll do the laundry later too, but a girl needs some new drawers from time to time anyway.

Now, you’d think all that was my confession, but it’s not. My confession? Instead of being horrified by the state my household is in right now, I am extremely amused. And, I’m looking forward to the challenge of cleaning the horrid mess plus getting my regular cleaning done. I know, I’m crazy.

Alright, Home Eccers, it’s your turn to confess. What horrible messes have your house been in lately? Alternatively, what have you been amused about that you should have been horrified about?



16 Comments

  1. Diaper Cake Becca on July 8, 2009 at 7:30 am

    My four year old has taken to taping anything that will stick to the walls everywhere in my home. She is “decorating”. So my walls are all covered in masking tape, scotch tape, stickers, duct tape, packaging tape…..if it will make something stick to the wall she has found it and used it! She tapes up pictures, drawings, inanimate objects, crayons, ribbon, small stuffed animals, the occasional shirt, little people, wooden spoons, paper plates, a shoe horn, a comb, batteries taken out of the remote….and the list goes on!

    My walls, of course, are a wreck. But I am amused because she hangs something and then steps back to get the perspective and will then readjust object to her pleasure. She even figured out how to tear the masking tape and make letters and she has now marked all doors leading out as “EXITS”. My clever little girl!

    The funniest things she has taped to our wall?? The broom and mop (resting on the floor….in the living room with the handles securely fastened with a picture of all 5 kiddos hanging between in perfect proportion).

    I’ve seen her chasing her little sister around this week and have wondered if, perhaps, she is trying to tape HER to the wall. Run, Riley, run!!!

    (Looking forward to whipping out my magic eraser when she has outgrown this phase).

  2. […] this disaster? Well, I decided to just let my uncle have my carpet cleaner (since we’re pretty short on […]

  3. Stacy on July 6, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    I need to clean out my refrigerator. Obviously. Today, a can of Diet Pepsi, which nobody at our house even drinks, exploded in the back of the refrigerator shelf, and the explosion cracked open a plastic container (the disposable type) full of chocolate syrup. So, there’s now chocolate syrup all over my refrigerator. I cleaned out the shelf it was on, but it spread to far reaches of the fridge. I guess that explosion was powerful. Why did it explode? It seemed to freeze and expand, but why? Alas.

  4. Janice on July 6, 2009 at 1:48 pm

    A bowl of tuna salad that I’d left on the back porch for the cats to pick at – I emptied it into the trash can, and it had maggots in it. I got totally icked out and threw the bowl away – took the trash out and bleached the trash can. EW EW EW! My excuse is that we had to make an emergency trip to take care of my MIL who was in the hospital, but STILL!

  5. Renee on July 6, 2009 at 6:44 am

    I have a large garden tub in my bathroom. Just this weekend I was running a bath and somehow got distracted by the movie that was on in the living room. Needless to say….the tub overflowed. Not fun and I really couldn’t find anything about the situation amusing. But it was a huge mess, so there ya go.

  6. CanadianCarrie on July 5, 2009 at 10:07 pm

    My house is a disaster in summer. Who wants to stay inside and clean while everyone is out having fun? And I haven’t even bought those popsicles yet,I’m trying to avoid it this summer!
    So because you DID ask, I’ll tell you what mess I had that I am now laughing at:
    Friday morning aroud 530 ish, I woke up to what sounded like one of the kids in the bathroom. It sounded like the toilet seat had fallen, then I heard water running. I laid there for about 15 seconds waiting for them to turn the water off, didn’t happen and I didn’t hear any footsteps or anything. So I got up and turned the bathroom light on…… THERE WAS WATER EVERYWHERE! At first I thought he toilet had overflowed (is that a word?) then I realised that there was a huge crack in the tank and the water just kept running……..I yelled for my husband, I started throwing towels and my terry robe on the floor, he ran down to turn the water off. The next half hour or more we mopped it all up, then mopped up the water coming down through the vent and light fixtures in our downstairs bathroom, a newly renovated bathroom at that! Then the first toilet my husband bought to put in didn’t fit, so we’re saving that one for our rental house we are reno-ing. 3 trips to Home Depot in one day is not fun, especially a Saturday! Needless to say, well, I won’t even say it, but I am NOW laughing that the crises is over…….

    • Stacy on July 6, 2009 at 12:48 am

      Well I can relate to this last one. Back in March we had a flood because my husband had incorrectly hooked up a used washer we bought to put in the upstairs bathroom, sort of a secondary apartment style washer…Anyway, water started flooding down through the light fixtures in massive quantities downstairs. We had fans blowing into the walls and carpet pulled up all over the place for weeks.

      As for right now, I was just thinking that a week ago my house was kind of in order….and now it’s not. I can only attribute it to a holiday weekend and…pregnancy. I’m only in the second month, but am definitely feeling regular bouts of nausea..ugh. No actually losing of cookies, but definitely a loss of motivation to clean. It’s not horrible, just not as nice as it was last week…but it’s never fabulously spic-and-span.

      Ivy, can’t you insist on getting your rug cleaner? It is YOURS after all…?

      • Badbadivy on July 6, 2009 at 11:42 am

        He was using it at that exact moment, and I had told him the day before to take his time since I don’t have all that much carpet in my house anymore, lol! I ended up buying myself a Little Green Clean Machine (which I’ll review on Tuesday) instead, since renting a rug doctor was about half as expensive as the LGCM. I think I”m going to let him have the carpet cleaner.

  7. Leigh on July 5, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Oh, Ivy… That’s my life on a continual basis, too. Today, I could only laugh at my 3 yo son blew spit bubbles at dinner company. It was either laugh or cry…

  8. Steve Berry on July 5, 2009 at 6:01 pm

    Taking care of your home is an effort, I found I’m too frigging lazy and motivation to make everyone around me happy by cleaning it up for them, vaccuming, steam cleaning the carpet to make it perfect. painting the walls. doing the work. Means I get to smile at it just as much as everyone who’s happy to live with in it.

    Is there a support group for people who are lazy. I need it.

  9. Veggiemomof2 on July 5, 2009 at 5:28 pm

    All I can think is that I hope you prayed not to have an accident while out in your granny panties! 🙂

    My house always hits the skids during the summer, but with my husband having 2 surgeries in past 2 weeks, & unable to help, it is MUCH worse than normal. Thankfully, he will help me get it back under control when he’s able.

  10. Di on July 5, 2009 at 5:07 pm

    I had to do a similar thing the other day – regarding undergarments. It was infinitely easier to go to the store and buy more underwear than hope the 5 pairs or so that do currently fit (note: am 7 months pregnant) were clean.

    Also, in the Epic Fail department. Before this baby comes along, we have to do a major reorganization of our bedroom, in order to make room for a sleeping newborn. Right now, there is an extra pile of stuff (some of it laundry, some of it boxes, some of it the vacuum that never found a proper closet to live in.) that’s right smack in the middle of the room. We have a large master bedroom, and the furniture is sort of gathered at each end, leaving the middle a nice big place for the stuff to gather. I think it breeds during the night, quite honestly.

    On the other hand, we had a fun visit to see family yesterday and an outing to the park this morning.

  11. Bran on July 5, 2009 at 4:14 pm

    I’ve been working at home nearly every waking hour over the last few months, and it’s actually been a lot of fun. Almost too fun, in fact, since it’s apparently beyond me to be able to clean the house or cook more than three times a week.

    Cereal, anyone? (Uh, here. Let me wash a bowl for you. They’re all dirty.)

    HOMEMAKER FAIL. 🙂

  12. Judy Hamby on July 5, 2009 at 3:47 pm

    Now I really know the other reason I read your blog, your are human and you write about it. Makes the rest of us feel like our lives truly are normal too! Sorry about the mess but we all have been through similar experiences but have no one to tell, if we aren’t too embarrassed to admit it. Keep up the honesty, it helps the rest of us!

  13. Angela on July 5, 2009 at 3:40 pm

    My story is not that amusing. I just have a living room that has turned into a fort. That is my only mess right now. There was a lot more yesterday, but I screwed up some money issues, made a mess of that and was so mad at myself I cleaned that whole house.

  14. Heather on July 5, 2009 at 3:16 pm

    I laughed, quietly to myself with great relief, during Mass today at the poor woman whose child was screaming bloody murder. Even as I chuckled (while facing front and keeping my face straight) I knew that half the congregation was assuming it was my kid screaming. My usual culprit was asleep in the pew after a late night of fireworks.

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