Heather says:
First off congratulations to Amybee commenter #41. Check your inbox and your spam filter tomorrow for an info email requesting your contact info.
Life isn’t perfect and even those who look like they have it together are probably scared that they’re about to snap. The Sunday confessional is about admitting our imperfections. Many people live somewhat isolated lives, until I really spent time with a group of women in various stages of life, I really had no idea that other people shared my shortcomings. So that’s what the confessional is about, it’s not about celebrating mediocrity it’s about embracing our the fact that we’re human and laughing at our faults.
This one is hard for me, I have three kids and as most parents know some stages are harder than others. Right now, one of my children is in a very obstinate and obnoxious stage. It’s the kind of stage that makes me question my sanity. If you know me in real life, know that I’m trying and that I’m mortified.
What about you? Anything you’d like to get off your chest?
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{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
My confession is that I don't love my stepson as much as I love my son. Natural, I know, considering he's lived with us for 4 short months, yet I feel bad and guilty about it. Especially since part of the reason he lives with us is because his mom doesn't love him as much as her 2 new kids with her new husband. I feel resentful, and I feel guilty about feeling resentful.
Alison, I’m also a stepparent. First of all, you’re human you can’t magically turn on emotions. The good news is that love is more than a warm and fuzzy feeling. Every day that you spend with your stepson and make good decisions in your behavior, attitude, and treatment of him IS loving him. I know it’s not a fun weak in the knees feeling, but it’s also the real deal.
To create an emotional bond you have to create a history with him, but know that resentment is a huge roadblock. You may feel resentment toward him and he towards you. Since he’s the child, you must always take the emotional highroad. It’s hard. Make sure you’ve got the support of your husband AND someone outside the family.
Start small, don’t expect an overnight success. Take him on errands, go to his sports event, be there and be dependable. Also don’t be scared to talk to a counselor blended families are tough and you’re not weak to reach out for help in making it work. Hang in there.
I've quit exercising for the past month. I had been on a good roll for about three months, but I got a cold, then my son got a cold, then I just got lazy. Now it's starting to get really cold outside (we're expecting our first big snowstorm tomorrow), and I no longer have any interest in doing the walking and hiking we were doing before (me walking and hiking with my son in a jogging stroller). I have a treadmill but don't know if my 2YO will be able to hang out and deal with me being on it for the amount of time it would take to be beneficial…I'm also pretty sure I'd have to put up a baby gate to keep him from coming in the room and getting on the treadmill…We live far from a city, about 15+ miles, and currently can't afford a gym membership or even the gas to go there everyday. Anyway, I know I'm making excuses, but these are actual issues too.
I could probably confess plenty of other things, but this is on my mind right now.
I've been living in chaos for a week and it's about to drive me crazy. I must have order around me, and I can't walk through a room rihgt now without stepping on something. http://www.halleethehomemaker.com/2009/12/taking-...
I am having problems with my husband. We don't discuss them right now, but it is a huge elephant in the room. I pray constantly for help, but I haven't received an answer. Our third child hasn't even been baptized and is approaching her first birthday! I confessed this in a confessional recently and the priest told me to remember back to what it was that made me fall in love with my husband. I am afraid this hasn't helped too much as he seems like a much different person now. He travels every other month and is gone for a month, so hopefuly this next time back we will have time to talk.
I got back from vacation on Thursday and I still haven't done the dishes that were from before I left. Or anything at all productive. Cockroaches have set up a nice little city in there, I'm tempted to join them…
I don't want to deal with my children. The last vacation I had was when I went on maternity leave, and I had both boys with me. I haven't had a break in over 6 months, and I'm about to lose it. I let hubby do everything, because I've just kinda given up. Add to the fact that I still have my mom and brother living with me, and that's just the beginning of my issues right now. At least I can still tolerate all of them.