Stupid Questions, volume 7

Ivy says:

Due to my own slacking, I didn’t answer Kathy T’s Stupid Questions last week. Never fear, I am doing them this week! Here we go:

1. Since they’ve recently talked about silver fish and other creepy things on their site, here’s a bug question. What’s with those giant mosquito looking things? Do they bite or just make your skin crawl?

Those are crane flies. We always called them skeeter eaters when I was a kid, but they don’t eat mosquitos or anything else- they only live for a few days and do not eat as adults.
2. Is it true that the fuller the lips, the more fertile a person is?

Nope, otherwise Angelina Jolie would be constantly pregnant, right?
3. I have all kinds of fingerprints and other unidentifiable crud on my walls. They really need a good scrubbing. Can you recommend a product that will clean the walls without stripping the paint?

I see Jag already gave the answer I would- the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser. It’s wonderful for cleaning walls. Be careful with flat paint, though, it does take some of the paint off, if it is flat paint.
4. My goddaughter gave me a very pretty, divinely odoriferous hyacinth for Easter. It died after about a week and a half (my black thumb). But I’d like to preserve the bulb either outside or inside for next year. What do I do? How do I do it? Any good recommendations?

Here is your answer. Sounds like a pain. Might we suggest marigolds? Or better yet, embrace the dandelion!
5. I have several oil lamps that we use when the power goes out thanks to our outrageously expensive, awful electric company. How do I clean an oil lamp? Does the oil need to be changed?

I totally feel your pain on the electric company- my bill was a hundred bucks in March and I didn’t run the heat OR the AC all month. Ridiculous. Anyway- here is a good link on cleaning oil lamps. I couldn’t find anything on whether or not you need to change the oil in it, but I’d say you probably should dispose of the oil whenever you clean the lamp. Make sure you are properly disposing the lamp oil and not just dumping it in the sink or toilet.
6. The most interesting discussions at family reunions are always about politics. But people get really really mad, feelings get hurt, and … well you know. Can you suggest another really good subject for conversation that won’t get everyone’s panties in a wad?

At my family reunions, we normally talk about celebrity gossip, any family members who aren’t there, and recipes. Although recipe discussions can get ugly if you have a lot of people in the family that consider themselves great cooks.
7. How do you get a dead snake out of a tree?

Pitchfork.
8. How do you make kids want to help clean the house?

I pay them.
9. Without money being involved?

Or beat hug them.
10. What about those teeth whitening strips? Do they really work?

I’ve used Crest White Strips, I think they lightened my teeth some, but I don’t know that it was the “8 bazillion shades whiter” that was promised.