Stupid questions, volume 2

stripey-shirt.JPGIvy says:

Kathy T is at it again! She tells me she’s going to send me stupid questions as long as I’ll answer them, so here we go with yet another edition of Stupid Questions™.

1. Is it true that the chemical in soft drinks are strong enough to clean things?

Eh, kind of. Coke is so sugary that it’s not really an effective cleaner. Plain soda water is pretty decent at removing stains, though.

2. What kitty litter smells fresh the longest?

Arm & Hammer Multi Cat scooping litter.

3. Speaking of kitty litter, why do dogs love the taste of cat poop?

The short answer to that is, cats eat a lot of protein, so it tastes better. Dogs would probably absolutely love human poop except we don’t leave it laying around in boxes.

4. What’s a good way to wrap a birthday or anniversary present when the only paper you have at home has ice-skating penguins wearing Santa hats?

I generally roll over to one of those stores where everything’s a dollar and pick up a gift bag.

5. Do we really need to throw away a gigantic block of cheese when those little white specs appear on it? Is it safe to just cut them off and eat what’s underneath?

Ya know, I really didn’t know the answer to this and Heather isn’t awake, and my husband the food safety expert isn’t home yet, so I googled and found this. Who knew it was so complicated? Not I, said Ivy, gleaming happily.

6. What’s the best way to UN-teach a child to put a plastic bag on his/her head?

:::chuckles::: It is best not to teach a child to put a plastic bag on their head in the first place, ol’ buddy, ol’ pal!

7. So you’re walking down the street – just moseying along – and you sneeze. It’s really gross. You don’t have a Kleenex. What do you do?

When I used to work in the restaurant business, I was told it was a good idea to sneeze into your armpit to avoid having to spend time washing your hands. So I’m already in the habit of sneezing into my armpit and I’d avoid that situation altogether, other than potentially having a nasty armpit.

8. What’s the best way to get dog crap off the bottom of a shoe when it’s wedged really tight in the lines?

I usually take a hose to a shoe suffering that badly from dog crap.

9. In the spring, birds come by the flock to fight themselves via our auto mirrors. What’s the best way to stop this (especially since we don’t like cleaning the bird crap off the sides of our cars)?

Funny, that has never happened to me. For people that are wondering about this, Kathy’s mom already called and told her the answer: either fold your mirrors in, or cover them with a sock or towel. A commenter at her site suggested putting a rubber snake in the windshield.

10. How can you get rid of someone who ruthlessly tries to sell you Pampered Chef, Arbonne, Avon, Mary Kay, or crap for a school fundraiser?

I generally plead abject poverty, and then stop taking their calls.

11. How can you get your kid OUT of selling crap for a school fundraiser?

I rarely participate in selling crap for school fundraisers. They piss me off royally really make me angry, because the companies that actually do the fundraisers are making a fortune off these schools. When my oldest son was younger, I just refused to participate and bought him some toy to make up for it. Now that he’s older, the school is trickier and offers stuff like pizza parties if you sell a certain amount. Fortunately, they allow $10 donations to serve the same as selling an item, so I generally donate money and if his grandparents really want to buy something, that’s cool by me.

12. When you host a spaghetti dinner for a school, are there any tricks to make it a smooth evening?

:::chuckles again::: Yes, get someone else to handle the details, preferably someone that knows what they are doing.

13. Why have country music stations tried to annihilate the Dixie Chicks’ careers, when Willie Nelson also spoke against this president and they left him alone? Okay, not a home-economics question, but inquiring minds want to know.

There are several reasons that come to mind, but the biggest reason, I think, is because he’s Willie Freaking Nelson!

14. Are shart* and skid marks** caused by the same thing? We’ve had a rousing debate in the office over this issue – I maintain they are two different things.

You must work in an interesting office, there, Kathy! I’m of the opinion that shart is caused by going overboard with your gaseous emissions and skid marks are caused by not wiping carefully.

15. What’s the earliest age you can give a child money as a birthday gift from your own child who is going to the party?

I always give money as a birthday gift to children I don’t hang out with and know well.

16. How do you get the smell of boiled eggs and/or fish out of your house without spending a fortune on expensive air fresheners? Does it work for kitty litter?

Generally, I open the windows. Also, you can take some vinegar and put it in a spray bottle, put some a bit of baking soda in, and once the chemical reaction has settled, spray that mixture. But I prefer the opening windows method, myself, less drama.

Thanks again, Kathy, for the stupid questions!



10 Comments

  1. Reef tank addict on December 30, 2007 at 2:58 am

    The answer to #7 is to wipe your hand on the next lamp pole.

  2. […] I’m surprised that I am a veritable fount of information having to do with cat poop. Stumble […]

  3. Bramble on March 19, 2007 at 10:01 am

    And just to relate all of this to the website-

    Ivy and Heather, our bootylicious hostesses, know just how to make shart stains go poof like magic off of underwear. They can also make a scrummy scoop of spaghetti. unfortunately tho, i was unable to fit in the word paradox.

  4. Kathy T. on March 18, 2007 at 9:00 pm

    Oooh! Poof is a fantastic word! ::smiles::

  5. Bramble on March 18, 2007 at 6:25 pm

    I was always partial to poof myself. its just fun to say.

  6. Kathy T. on March 18, 2007 at 10:45 am

    There are a lot of words this Kathy chick likes to say besides shart. Bootylicious, for example, but how does that relate to Home Ec? How about a big ol’ cup of paradox (my favorite word in the world). A scoop of … oh wait. Scoop is another great word (could be the “oop” at the end or just the combination of consonants and vowels). I like the pretend word “Scrummy” because it’s both scrumptious and yummy. In all seriousness, Ivy left out one huge tip on the spaghetti dinner – precook your spaghetti. (And spaghetti is another great word). Peace out.

  7. Rachel on March 18, 2007 at 9:46 am

    I’ve heard the same thing about Coca-Cola being excellent for cutting road grease from a windshield, via my former truck-driver grandfather. Baking soda, vinegar, and a stiff brush will also work on those battery terminals.

  8. Nashville is Talking » The Domestic Diva Speaks on March 18, 2007 at 10:09 am

    […] you ever wanted to know how to get various types of crap off of various types of objects, this is a really fine place to start! Spread It Around: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and […]

  9. Bramble on March 18, 2007 at 9:50 am

    I’m thinking this kathy chick just really likes to say the word shart. i mean it is a fun word but still. shart. the images it conjures….

  10. knitaddict on March 18, 2007 at 8:48 am

    My brother uses coke and newspaper to wash his windshield! He says that NOTHING gets it cleaner…and he said it doesn’t leave streaks. He’s also a mechanic and uses coke to remove all the battery acid crud that gets built up on peoples batteries. Next time your battery goes caput, before you buy a new one, clean the connector thingies w/coke and hook her back up. We saved like, $40 on a new battery 4 my moms car just by cleaning her…thingies. I dunno what the heck they’re called…but COKE WORKS WONDERS!

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