Dear Mavens of Manners and Manor Management,
After a recent death in the family, we have received some very thoughtful gifts of flowers, plants, etc. As I was getting ready to handle the task of thank you notes for these items, I had a question I thought I would ask you for your advice.
In regards to Mass Cards that were sent, I know a thank you note should be sent for those. But for people who sent a normal sympathy card, does etiquette suggest that a thank you note is written for that as well? At first I was thinking it would be the same as if someone sent you a birthday card….you don’t need to send one for that….but then again, there is no harm in doing so to thank someone for their thoughts for your family.
Any thoughts on this issue?
~The Gratefully Grieving.
First, I am so sorry for your loss.
If you were to send a thank you note to everyone who sent a card, then they might feel obligated to send a thank you for your thank you, and we could be sending hordes of cards back and forth for ages. It has to stop somewhere.
The standard etiquette is when you see your friend who sent the card again, mention the card and thank them then. If you’d really like to, you could call or send an email and thank them for the card then. People totally understand that you are grieving and don’t have time to call or thank every single person, so don’t get all worked up about that.