Once the teenager came to us asking for money for a field trip – and it was quite expensive. The field trip was the next day. We told him at the beginning of the school year that he had to tell us immediately about any field trips or projects or anything like that and not wait until the last minute, else our answer would be “no.” On this occasion, the teenager waited until the last minute again – he’d known about the trip for 3 WEEKS. Our answer, as promised, was “no.” He missed out, but learned a valuable lesson.

Teach them that responsibility now, so they won’t have a hard time when they’re out on their own.

I’m a huge fan of Linda and Richard Eyre’s “Teaching your children Responsibility.” I can’t exactly afford to do it their way.. but I learned so much.

I also made the first major word in each child’s vocabulary “consequences”.. even at age 2. Until I read the Eyre’s, I only had consistency on my side.

I’m a mom, though, so I still rescue them.. but a little differently. Now that they are older, they know they owe me and I do have them pay up. Most of the time, I owe them, anyway.

This post hit on one of my hot buttons. I have no tolerance for anyone who can’t accept responsibility for their own actions. If you messed up, own up to it! That’s my motto.

My younger kiddos find that their stuff just disappears when it’s left lying around a lot… wonder where it all goes???

Like you, I believe in people being responsible for themselves. That’s what we moms have to teach them. It’s much easier to pay for it ourselves than to deal with a pre-teen trying to earn the money himself, but believe me, you WILL thank yourself later. If you don’t believe me, let me tell you about my nephews… LOL

He already has, a few times.

THen if it’s not, check the lost and found at school (him that is, not you, although you might want to double check, the people in the office tend to be a little intimidating)

He has. And the band lost and found. And, and, and.

If it’s not there, then let him work off the cost of a new one, and the band stuff by doing extra chores either for you, or the band director.

Oh, he is. That’s why I wrote “No matter what happened to it, he lost it and he’s responsible for replacing it and the items in it.” He’s using his own money to replace everything. And music and drill is NOT CHEAP. Believe me, he’s learning a lesson here.

2) Don’t bale the out all the time. If they don’t have band socks, you can occasionally help them out, but not every time. We all need help sometimes, but every time is enabling.

3) Chores. Daily responsibilities, even if it’s clean up after themselves.

4) Mimic good behavior. If I’m on time, my kids will be likely to be as well. If I do what I say I will, my kids are more likely to as well.

5) REWARD good behavior. Yup, the good old fashion bribe. If Johnny is on time for a week, then why not a treat to the ice cream store? You know you were going anyway.

Last weekend my youngest helped me by cleaning out the refrigerator. I told her when her room was done, we’d go get ice cream. By the time her chores were done, and mine were done, it was dinner time, so after dinner we all went. Dad had cut the grass and weed eated. Mom had cleaned the downstairs (so I could have an off day on Monday), the oldest two had defrosted the deep freeze, and she’d help me clean the kitchen and everyone had cleaned their rooms. The ice cream was a nice trip for jobs well done.