Ivy says:
God works in mysterious ways. I had no idea what I was going to write about today (in fact, I have no idea what I’m going to write about for Curbly, Shakhammer, and Shakyard today either), but lunch today provided plenty of Home-Ec 101 fodder. I’ve got an amusing story, a couple of quasi-recipes, and an ask the audience all wrapped up into one nice, neat post.
I’ve been craving chicken salad in the worst possible way lately. So today I went ahead and broke my vegetarianism and made myself and the kids chicken salad for lunch. Now, I’m not much of a cook, but I do make a fab chicken salad. I make mine with chicken (obviously), kosher salt, black pepper, crushed red pepper, mayo, ranch dressing, cilantro, celery, parsley, and green grapes. Green grapes is what makes the chicken salad absolutely fab.
So I made chicken salad, and it took me longer to make it than for my kids to completely wipe it out. When I went back for seconds, the bowl was completely empty. I said, “I guess you liked the chicken salad, huh, guys?”
My 13 year old said, “Yeah, but next time, no celery. Or cilantro. Or mayo.”
My 6 year old said, “Yeah, and no grapes. Or ranch.”
I said, “Guys, if I leave all that stuff out, it’s just chicken, and funny, for all the hating you guys are doing on the ingredients, you managed to wipe that chicken salad off the face of the earth awfully quickly.”
My 13 year old said, “Well, that’s true,” and went on munching his sandwich.
One thing we made yesterday where nobody hated the ingredients was Watergate Salad. So cool and refreshing during the hottest part of the year! I had no idea it was so ridiculously easy to make. You take a cup of mini marshmallows, a package of pistachio pudding, and a 20 oz. can of crushed pineapple and mix it together. Then take a cup and a half of Cool Whip and mix that. Let it sit in the fridge for an hour, and enjoy! Take that to your next potluck and impress people!
And now, for the “Ask the audience” portion of the post: Any ideas on how to make chicken salad vegetarian? What about tofu? Would that be any good with that? I have no idea, tofu kinda grosses me out, so I haven’t worked with it at all. Any tips on making a vegetarian chicken salad would win accolades and praise from the great Ivy. 
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What you call Watergate Salad, my mom always called Pistachio Fluff. We loved it! I haven’t had it in years, and am now very tempted to make some. She also put nuts in it if she had some, usually walnuts or pecans. Not actual pistachios, though.
I have liked a number of vegetarian chicken products from Morning Star Farms. The chicken nuggets are so good my DH, an avowed carnivore, ate up the other two boxes without me even getting to eat one! I think the ranch chicken is the best–I think that was a chicken patty with breading. I guess the nuggets have breading as well. Not sure how well that would work in the salad. But maybe they have an unbreaded version?
We make Watergate Salad, too, except we call it Green Stuff. *g* And it’s a little different from yours, but I think there are as many varieties of that salad as there are cooks. We use the pistachio pudding mix, of course, but also cottage cheese, Cool Whip, crushed pineapple, and occasionally mandarin oranges. NO marshmallows (cause that’s the devil’s food. blech!) It’s faboo! It wouldn’t be Thanksgiving at our house if we didn’t have Green Stuff on the table. And the nice thing is, it can be made relatively friendly to those of us watching our weight by using the fat-free cool whip and cottage cheese.
I used to make veggie chicken salad all the time, before I started eating chicken again. I used breaded fake chicken patties. I found that they absorb way more mayo, dressing than chicken so it gets soggy. I would cook them longer, not quite burned, but really brown. This helps keep the chicken salad a little crisp. I cut the patties into pieces and then let them cool. Personally, i would use the buffalo (spicy) patties/nuggets.
http://www.quorn.us/
makes about the best fake chicken that I have tasted.
Chuck
marshmallows arent vegetarian, sorry.
i second the chicken patties. i used to take the nuggets make them up buffalo style and make sandwich wraps with them. i do agree tho that the sauce sinks in FAST so make them crunchy as you can if you dont want it soggy or if you’re not eating them right away.
I’ve made fake chicken salad with plain tempeh (Lightlife is the brand that’s sold in supermarkets here – it comes in shrinkwrapped slabs); cut it into strips or cubes, steam for 25min, then proceed as for chicken salad. It does have a flavor of its own, but it’s not overpowering, and it has a much more appropriate texture than tofu.
I was going to recommend tempeh, too. Yummy.
slice up superfirm tofu thin and fry it in light olive oil, then shred it some more. toss in dressing and it should be okay in a sandwich. i dig avacado, though, as my meat substitute.
MorningStar farms has fake chicken strips.
There’s also Quorn fake chicken. Both are non breaded and can be cooked and used in chicken salad.
On the topic of sandwich spreads, I discovered a nifty sandwich filling made from tofu. Press the water out of firm tofu (I put mine between two plates and set the flour canister on top for about 30 min.) and shred or dice. Mix with egg salad fixins and enjoy! If you avoid cholesterol or if you want the good nutrition of tofu, this one is for you.
I have a strange questions if anyone can email me at carolinadreamz at gmail..
I spent another horrible night in the ER with meat stuck in my pouch. I am post gastric bypass and well, this is the third time in four years that I’ve completely blocked the stoma..
anyway.. my question is about this quorn chicken.. I’m swearing off whole meat pieces.. is this “meat” softer in consistency than a regular chicken nugget?
I’m getting desperate to replace whole meat and I’m excited to try this in chicken salad, as stated here by more than one.. thanks for the recipes and ideas..
~Heidi