Comments on: Dealing With Holidays After Loss

By: Heather

Heather — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 19:41:17 +0000

Thank you for this post. I lost my mother this Spring (right before Mother’s Day) after a three-year-long illness. Her death wasn’t unexpected, but the loss still takes my breath away at times. I’m blessed with two small daughters, and every holiday and birthday has been hard.

Thanksgiving this year will be spent with my father (they were divorced), and I’m going to keep myself busy. I just hope that the holidays will get better with time.

Take care,
Heather

By: Suzanne

Suzanne — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 21:53:19 +0000

Dear Ivy and all,

This is an excellent, timely post, with Thanksgiving just around the corner. I lost my favorite grandmother a month before I lost my husband, in 1999. Thanksgiving was our favorite holiday, so none of the observances now seem the same, as you stated. It’s very important, I believe, to know this fact, so that you can find new and/or
different ways to celebrate important occasions that are forever altered.

I do hope that you find lovely surprises on this and every holiday hereafter. By finding joy in these places where your loved ones have been, you honor their lives and their spirit.

Peace.

By: Pam

Pam — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:57:25 +0000

Keter,
Those were wonderful thoughts….even though we have a pretty large blended-extended family we always have bonus friends/coworkers who have no-one & no where to go. I feel
blessed to be able to extend the invitation and to set the example to our grandchildren to be inclusive of all races-cultures and beliefs.
God Bless

By: Carol

Carol — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 21:11:13 +0000

Thanks for sharing. The post brought tears to my eyes since we just got passed the 1 year anniversary of losing my father in law. Not to mention the other loved ones that have passed in the past years. The holidays are hard, but not as hard as the everyday moments that hit you like a mack truck. I don’t think the grief of those moments ever get easier.

I am blessed with 2 darlings boys that help to take the pain and the grief away. Without them, I think I would just skip most of the holidays.

By: Keter

Keter — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:20:58 +0000

Great post, Ivy. Other than my son, my last relative passed by the time I was 26. Most holidays were spent as just the two of us, a friend or two and a couple of Airmen or Soldiers who had to stay in town for the holiday. If you don’t have a family, you make one, I suppose. ;o)

Parting thought: the holiday is not about you, it’s about the spirit of the holiday. Concentrate on that and be in the moment, and that may help if grief comes calling. Hugs to all who are missing someone this holiday season.