A Side Helping Of Transparency

Ivy says:

Hi. My name is Ivy Hogan and I am using anti-depressants. That might not sound like a shocking revelation- after all, I’ve read several posts in recent weeks decrying how many doctors overprescribe anti-depressants, and how, surely, all these people who are on anti-depressants don’t really need them. I, myself, fought being put on anti-depressants for a very long time, partly due to the “you don’t really need them” stigma and partly because I wanted to see if I could get out of this funk myself, because, really, things in my life are hard lately and I thought that these things were the root cause.

And they might be. For the newbies here and for people who don’t know me and don’t know what’s going on in my life, I’ll give you a recap. About five years ago, my dad was diagnosed with IgA nephropathy. Now, for those of you who don’t feel like clicking the link, the long and short of it is that it is a very slow moving kidney disease that has no cure and usually results in kidney failure. 5 years ago when my dad was diagnosed, they estimated that he had already had it for at least 15 years and was getting to the end stages of the disease.

They attempted to treat it with prednisone, but that has resulted in many other problems such as diabetes and cataracts. And, in addition to everything else, because of my dad’s kidneys failing, he has also developed congestive heart failure, gout, and a few other problems I can’t even remember right now. Basically- my dad is dying very slowly right before my very eyes, and there is nothing I can do about it.

On top of everything else, last year on August 31st, my grandma passed away very suddenly. My grandma, who had lived with us for 8 years. My grandma, who I was very close to. Losing her was heartbreaking, and the subsequent cleaning out of all the stuff she had owned piled sadness onto my heart as much as her stuff was being piled into my house.

You might be thinking, “Ivy, that doesn’t make you a candidate for anti-depressants, that makes you a candidate for therapy.” I’d agree, except I talk to a therapist nearly every Friday. He’s been recommending I see my doctor (or a psychiatrist) for antidepressants for 6 months, at least.

So after several incidents where I picked fights with people I dearly love, after sleeping several entire days away, and finally, after overhearing a conversation my kids had about my depression, I talked to my doctor and he prescribed Celexa.

The night I filled the prescription I was at my mom and dad’s house, and Dad and I went to the store. On the way, I told him about my new prescription. “Thank God,” he said. “I’ve been watching your normal sparkle drain out of you for nearly a year now and I was about to say something to you. Did you know Mr. Ivy had even called me about your depression?”

See, I think with clinical depression, the person who is depressed is often the last to really know. Everyone else sees it, but they don’t want to bring it up to you for fear of making you angry or more depressed. Dad went on to tell me several things that I really needed to hear. First, he told me that it runs in my family. He talked about how, when he was a kid, my grandma would be fine for a few years, but then would lock herself into her bedroom for months and even sometimes years at a time. What was she doing? Sleeping, mainly, he said. She cried a lot too.

This reminded me of when I was a kid and my dad would spend a bunch of time in his bedroom, sleeping or just staring at the television. This just stopped when I was in high school. I asked him what was the difference, why it stopped and he simply said, “That’s when Prozac came on the market.” Ah-hah. One of my life’s mysteries explained.

I told him about how many people in my life had been telling me to just snap out of it, or that I needed to get my act together, or that I needed to start thinking positively. And my very favorite- my mom told me if I cleaned my house, I would be much happier. Because we all know, a clean house is totally the key to sanity.

Then my dad told me something that may have been one of the most important things I needed to hear: the people telling me to snap out of it, or think positively or clean my house do NOT understand what being clinically depressed is like. These people are well meaning, but because they cannot comprehend that all the positive thinking and spotless houses in the world are not going to cheer me up, are making me feel worse. What I needed to do was just what I did. Go to the doctor and find an anti-depressant that works for me.

I’m writing this for you Home Eccers that do understand. For those of you who may or may not have problems in your life, but still feel hopeless. For those of you who, all you want to do is sleep. And for those of you who think it’s probably better for everyone else if you vanished off the face of the planet. Have you been there? Are you there now?

I’ve been on the Celexa for 3 weeks now. People have been telling me they’re so glad to see my “voice” back. Mr. Ivy grabbed me and hugged me hard yesterday and said he had missed me immensely. My oldest son said, “What, you’re laughing? I didn’t know you knew how to do that anymore.” Things are getting back on track.

If you’ve been feeling hopeless or anything similar, I cannot urge you enough to pick up the phone and call your doctor for an appointment to talk to them about getting the right medicine to help you. Also, do not discount the amazing benefits of talk therapy. I’ve always said everyone should have a therapist. They’re like having friends you can tell everything to with the bonus of being absolutely sure they’re never going to spread gossip about you. Plus, you don’t have to deal with their problems. Therapists have their own therapists for that.

Be well, Home Eccers. I’m getting there, myself.

Don’t forget to check out our latest giveaway.

Grandma’s Home Remedies: Mosquito Bites

Ivy says:

My kids must be extra sweet because they are covered in mosquito bites, and I (luckily) have none. You know how kids can get when they’re itchy and uncomfortable- they whine a lot. And when they whine a lot, my patience gets thin, and then we’re in for a miserable day.

On Saturday, my daughter was upset about her mosquito bites but claimed not to be able to find the Benadryl cream. It was in the right hand drawer of my bathroom cabinet, which I told her, but you know how kids can get. A vague memory of my childhood resurfaced, and I told her to try scratching an X over the top of the bite, hard with her fingernail and then spit on it. Lo and behold, the itching stopped.

She and her little brother spent the rest of the day happily drawing Xes on their mosquito bites and then spitting on them. Hey, whatever gets you through the day, kids.

I also remember my mom putting white toothpaste on my bites and then telling me to blow on it. And my grandfather would put clear nail polish on his bites. I always thought that was for tick bites, but who knows. It seemed to work for him.

Is there actual science behind these home remedies? Perhaps. I read somewhere that there’s an enzyme in spit that causes the bites to itch less. The same may be true for the toothpaste. In the case of my grandpa and his clear nail polish, I suspect it covers the bite and keeps it away from air, causing the itching to go down. The X might draw the itchy enzyme away from the site of the bite.

Other things I have heard over the years is to take the hottest washcloth you can stand on your skin and put it over the bite. Also, a spray of vinegar is supposed to help the bite. Another one I’ve heard is to use a paste of meat tenderizer and water on the bite.

It seems there are a blue million ways to stop mosquito bite itches. What are your favorite remedies?

This Porridge is too Hot for my Acidophilus and Omega-3s

Dear Home Ec 101,

If I put flaxseed oil and yogurt in my hot oatmeal, will their beneficial qualities be destroyed by the heat?

Signed,

Goldielocks

Heather says:

If you allow the oatmeal to cool to a temperature comfortable for eating before adding your flax oil and yogurt you should be just fine. Now, there may be an exception, if you were one of my regular customers who required their coffee hot enough to melt their dental work, learn what 115F - 120F feels like.

Flax oil has a very short shelf life. It must be refrigerated and used within six weeks of pressing. Flax seeds offer the additional benefit of fiber, but must be used immediately after grinding, so there is definitely a convenience factor to consider. Several readers have recommended keeping a cheap coffee grinder on hand just for grinding flax seeds. Never use flax oil for cooking as high temperatures not only destroy the beneficial properties of the fatty acids, but turns them into harmful fats.

Now let’s learn a little about yogurt. L. acidophilus is not in all brands of yogurt in the United States. It is added after Streptococcus thermophilus and Lactobacillus bulgaricus. There is a program developed by the National Yogurt Association that tests yogurt at the end of its stated shelf life for a minimum presence of bacterial cultures. (L. Acidophilus competes for the sugars and may be overwhelmed by the S. thermophilus and L. bulgaricus) If the brand passes the test it may carry the seal for Live and Active Cultures.

If you make your own yogurt it is important to remember that you must add your own cultures of L. acidophilus to ensure its presence in significant quantities. This probiotic may be purchased in capsules or powders; please store it carefully according the manufacturer’s directions to reap full benefits.

There is still plenty of debate on the proof of the health benefits of probiotics. As always, I am not a medical professional, seek the advice of your doctor or nutritionist before attempting to treat any conditions.

Enjoy your breakfast.

Submit your questions to helpme@home-ec101.com.

Dont beat yourself up over non-productiveness

Ivy says:

Darling Home-Eccers, I would like to apologize about the lack of updates this week. Heather has family in town all week, and while I was totally planning on covering everything this week, I have managed to hit the trifecta of feeling crappy.

First, my hidradenitis suppurativa has had a very major flare-up, leading to my having to go to the doctor to get that fixed up. So, there’s pain. And then I started a new birth control pill this week to get the disaster that is my period sorted out. It has a side effect that is supposed to go away with time- nausea. It’s about as bad as morning sickness except this comes on in the afternoons and hits hard until I go to bed. So, pain and nausea.

But wait! There’s more! All the trees have decided to bloom this week, so it’s time for my spring allergies to come in. So, pain and nausea and a snotty head. Fun, fun, fun.

That said, it reminds me of how a lot of us tend to beat ourselves up when we can’t get as much done as we would like. Kids, I’m here to tell you that sometimes you just can’t pump out as much work as you would like to. Perhaps it’s medically related, as I’m dealing with this week. Perhaps it’s because you have relatives visiting or you have a million activities to deal with. Or maybe you are just scattered and can’t get your act together to get everything done. No matter the reason, just don’t beat yourself up over that.

Worrying about being behind and having lots to do is taking up valuable time and energy, don’t worry about it. Instead, make a giant list of everything that needs to be done. Put stars beside the high priority items and just start working your way through your list. Make sure you tell yourself that there’s no way you can accomplish it all right away, so don’t let your list hang over your head as a worry. No, this is a tool to help you get it done, not an indictment of how much you have left to do.

Don’t worry- eventually you’ll get caught up. Just take it one day- or even one hour- at a time.  You can do it, I have faith in you!

Sunday Night Reminder

Heather says:

Tomorrow begins the first full work week of the New Year. (Shift workers, my family is in your boat, so I do feel your pain.)  Consider taking a few minutes tonight to avoid a hectic Monday morning.

Decide and layout what you will wear. (If you have children, do the same for them)

Locate all needed items: briefcases, purses, keys, backpacks, and diaperbags

Take five minutes and plan for breakfast and lunch

Set your alarm for ten minutes earlier than necessary.

Turn off the tv and computer at a decent hour.  Unless it’s due tomorrow, it will wait.

What do you do beforehand to make your week run more smoothly?

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