Countdown to Turkey Day: November 13

Heather says:
With the menu planned, it is time to check the pantry and fridge and make your shopping list. If you use a frozen turkey it can be purchased any time, but fresh turkeys will need to purchased no earlier than the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Fresh turkeys are highly perishable and should be stored in a home fridge for no longer than 2 days before cooking.

While making your shopping list take careful note of how much fresh produce will need to be purchased and how it will be stored in the days before Thanksgiving. Consider a thorough refrigerator clean out to ensure there is adequate storage both before and after the big meal. A cooler loaded with ice can be a lifesaver if space is tight.

While we are talking about Thanksgiving and shopping lists, I’d like to know: What dishes make or break Thanksgiving? I am all over the turkey and dressing, but my mom would be crushed if there wasn’t any Waldorf salad. So Home Eccers, tell me, what must be included in your Thanksgiving dinner? Are there any traditional dishes that your family absolutely cannot stand?

Dealing With Holidays After Loss

Ivy says:

While my one grandma is still going strong at 91 years old, we lost my other grandma very suddenly on August 31, 2007. She was 79 years old. As that grandma was part mom, part grandma, and part friend, it was a very deep loss for me. Now I’ve had over a year to come to terms and I have some advice on dealing with holidays without your loved one.

Keep in mind, the first of any holiday without your loved one will be hard, particularly if they were the family matriarch or patriarch. If the holidays were held at their house, you may be scrambling to figure out which holiday goes where. Understand that things will never be the same.

You will discover a new normal. You’ll still have thoughts about how you need to tell your loved one something, you’ll have moments that will take you completely off guard, and you’ll feel the grief all over again, as raw as it was when you first found out.

Do NOT let anyone tell you the way you are grieving is not okay. When my friend Molly’s dad died, she laughed with us through the entire funeral. People thought she was being inappropriate, but that was how she dealt with it. Everyone deals with things differently. Give your family the respect of letting them grieve their way. It’s easy to be very selfish about the loss you feel, but remember- you are not the only one who lost when that person died.

And while I’m not that I’m telling you how to grieve, I want to warn you of falling into a trap of remembering only the good or only the bad about your loved one. After my grandma died, I began thinking of her as my sainted grandmother, she could do no wrong. I was lucky and acquired her diary from the mid to late 1960s and was able to remember her as a whole person- good things, bad things, funny things, completely batty and off the wall things. It was really then, that I was able to let go and say goodbye appropriately. Remembering her as my sainted grandmother and what a terrible, terrible loss it was, did not do me or anyone else any good.

This also applies to people you have anger towards. It’s easy to think, good riddance, adios. But deep down you’ll remember the good, and it will niggle at you and cause guilt. When I lost my grandfather, it took nearly ten years to let go of the anger I harbored. Remembering him as a whole and fallible person instead of the spectre of my anger and hurt has gone a long way in the improvement of my own mental health.

But back to the holidays- remember it’s okay to reminisce. Think of the funny times, the happy times, and even the sad times. It’s totally normal for those first holidays without your loved one to be a little sad, a little deflated- even a little angry. Pull together with your family, even if there are problems with things like the division of that person’s property. After a loss, the family you have is more important than ever.

Countdown to Turkey Day 2008: November 11

Heather says:

Recently frequent commenter JayMonster asked:

Have any tricks for getting “prepped” for Turkey Day any easier? I mean, we use dishes, chargers, silverware and goblets that typically only see the light of day here and at Xmas, so it becomes a chore as big as the meal itself to wash and polish everything. Any ideas on how to get through that mess?

Absolutely, the trick is to do it in stages.

The menu and shopping list have been written. Now it is time to ensure you have enough serving dishes for the big day. Do not wait until the night before to hunt up your servingware. One of the great unwritten laws of the universe states that the sticky mystery dust film’s thickness is directly proportional to how badly you need the dish to be clean.

First thing to ask, are you serving buffet or family style?

Cheap aluminum containers work well on a buffet, but they don’t hold up well to being passed around. If you don’t want grandma to end up with a lapful of sweet potatoes, I suggest finding sturdier dishes. Clearance stores such as Big Lots often have foil pans for a reasonable price. Thriftstores may have serving pieces for bargain prices, but the pickings may be slim. If you need more dishware, start looking now.

If you don’t use your serving dishes for every day meals grab a stack of 3×5s or sticky notes and write the name of a menu item on each. In each dish place the name of the food it will hold. This will come in handy if you have willing volunteers on Thanksgiving.  

While you are checking your serving dishes be sure you also have enough large spoons, both slotted and non, serving forks, and a good carving knife 

Good luck.

Countdown to Turkey Day: Avoiding family drama

Ivy says:

I come from a long line of people with very short fuses. I also come from a long line of people who are either very heavy drinkers or very anti-drinking. This leads to me not being able to remember more than a handful of family gatherings in my childhood that didn’t break out into a big fight.

Our family gatherings nowadays are very low drama. How’d we do it? Well, we moved 2 states away from most of the troublemakers. But we’re still a bunch with short fuses- how do we keep the drama down? Here’s a guide:

• Serve dinner on time.
  This could very well be the most important tip of all. Picture hungry, cranky kids plus adults who have spent too long on cocktail hour with nothing substantial to eat, and you’re just asking for trouble.
• Make a rule: no religion or politics.
  Now, in my immediate family, we’re all the same religion and we all have the same general political leanings, so one would think that wouldn’t lead to problems. It does anyway.
• Joke it away.
  If someone says something that’s obviously designed to make everyone else mad, my brother is good about stepping in and turning it all into a joke.
• Get the jerk out of the room.
  You’d be surprised at how a well-timed “Hey, Uncle Bob, I want to show you the rose bush I planted in the backyard. It’s doing something weird and I need your advice.” works. Of course, now you’re stuck with hearing how Uncle Bob faced the Germans 80 years ago, but hey. Anything to keep the peace, right?

And if all else fails, you can always move. Trust me, it works.

Countdown to Turkey Day 2008: November 11

Heather says:

By now you should have a decent headcount of how many invasive parasites guests will be in attendance for your holiday meal. When you have a moment of peace, use duct tape if you must, sit down with pencil and paper and plan your menu and shopping list.

Listed below are general guidelines to use when estimating the amount of food to prepare. The guidelines assume a full Thanksgiving dinner with three or four vegetables, including sweet potatoes. If your menu is limited, it would be reasonable to expect adults to consume more than the quantities listed.

Always take your guests potential appetites into consideration, if you are hosting only seniors estimate on the low side while teenagers and men will generally eat you out of house and home.

• Whole turkey* - 1lb turkey for each guest up to a 14lb bird. Anything larger, estimate 3/4lb per person. (The skeleton of the turkey weighs less proportionally in large birds).
• Bone-in turkey breast - 2/3 lb per person
• Boneless turkey breast - 1/2 lb per person

• Dressing - 3/4 cup per guest

• Gravy - 1/3 cup per person
• Mashed potatoes - 1lb of potatoes for every 3 guests
  • If serving two kinds (roasted and mashed) estimate 1lb for every 4 guests

• Cranberry relish / sauce - 1lb of berries for every 5 people

• Vegetables, including sweet potates - 1/2 cup per person of each type

• Dessert - 1 serving per guest

Some of the very dedicated choose to serve both turkey and ham. In that case estimate one pound of ham for every four or five people and 3/4 lb of turkey.

*If you love leftovers, as I do, increase your turkey estimate by 50%.

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