Comments on: Ask The Audience: Advise The Newlyweds

By: The Obligatory Best Of 2009 | Home Ec 101

The Obligatory Best Of 2009 | Home Ec 101 — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 14:20:15 +0000

[...] Ask The Audience: Advise the Newlyweds – you must read the comments The recipe: Chicken and Wild Rice [...]

By: Judith

Judith — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 05:03:59 +0000

Mr. Mike and I have been married for 25 years. It’s been wonderful and awful, sometimes by turn and sometimes both at the same time. We’ve often joked: “Divorce, never; murder, maybe.” But that just reflects our bedrock commitment: this is for life. That level of commitment has freed us to not worry about our relationship’s chances of survival (it will) and has forced us to deal with whatever has come between us.
We encourage each other be an individual: he loves flyfishing and I love to sew, and we support each other in taking time for those things. But we are also clearly a couple when it comes time to make important decisions, or spend money, or set limits for kids, or face the grief of losing a parent.
And we pray for each other. We laugh together. We face things together. We put each other first — because that’s what love does.

By: Diaper Cake Becca

Diaper Cake Becca — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 19:34:13 +0000

Your house is your house. Do not invite unwanted intrusions in and do not share personal business outside.

Realize you WILL fight and that will not mean the marriage is over. Realize that mistakes will be made, sometimes big ones, but that this is not the end of the world.

The most important relationship will always be between the man and wife. Once the children come…this, too, will continue to be true. All other relationships are spawned from this central relationship. Do not neglect the spouse for the children…it causes resentment.

By: laura

laura — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 18:38:21 +0000

Thank you guys SO much! I love this website!

By: Attila

Attila — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 13:36:49 +0000

“This thing (our marriage) is bigger than both of us” is a phrase that I keep in mind. When I want to kill my husband, yes; it happens; I remember this phrase and it helps me put the annoyance into perspective. I know he loves me and I know I love him, and we both get on each others nerves at times, but our marriage is more important than who left a red sock in the whites wash, who left the fridge door open etc.
We are coming up to our 13th anniversary and are even happier than when we got married. I’ve just read this out to him, and he says it’s true!

By: Milehimama

Milehimama — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 06:38:25 +0000

Newlyweds:
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. Each person MUST give 100%!

Never give up at the same time.

It’s not your money or his money- it’s ALL Y’ALL’s money now. Try to replace “his” and “mine” with “our”, as much as possible.

Hide the karaoke machine and Everclear when the in-laws come over.

By: Fawn

Fawn — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 04:06:37 +0000

One of the things that has inspired me the most is seeing my husband’s Granny and Pop together. They tease each other like crazy and just fit perfectly. I’d look at the two of them together and think, “THAT’S how I want to be when I’m old.”

Granny once told me that there were lots of times that she would have left if she’d had anyplace to go! That’s the fact of it — sometimes you just can’t stand each other. But you can get through it.

By: Tara

Tara — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 02:58:16 +0000

Don’t quit flirting with him. I don’t have years of wedded experience like others here, but my DFH seems to enjoy it!

By: Kellyg

Kellyg — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 22:32:00 +0000

Thanks for the advice…I’m a newlywed myself. I’ve been dating the guy since the 7th grade (almost exactly nine years now). I learn more each day on keeping the peace in our relationship and how difficult it is sometimes to do so. Thanks again!

By: Thankful

Thankful — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:36:46 +0000

Say thank you to each other often and for the smallest things. The first year is the hardest, because it’s the first in which every little comment can affect the relationship forever. I also agree with earlier commenters about have lots of sex. It’s easy to get lazy about this.
Lastly, don’t dismiss date night. We just started doing date night with 2009 (we’ve been together for 8 years, married for almost 3). I always thought it was kind of a stupid idea, but it’s been a giant success. We cook dinner together, and no chores (besides cooking and clean up) are allowed. Period. Also no surfing the internet all night or otherwise not being truly present. It’s been so much fun and really relieves the monotony of rake the yard, fold the laundry, you cook and I’ll balance the checkbook, did you pick up any bread, call your brother back, etc. etc.