Dicey business

Dear Home-ec 101,

I hate cooking. I make a bloody mess (literally!) everytime I have to do anything involving onions. Can you help?

~Stubby in St. Petersburg

Heather says:

Dicing onions shouldn’t make you cry, in pain that is.

First peel off the papery layers, this is easier if you cut off the root end, although some say this releases more of the chemical that burns the eyes. If you can cut quickly in a well ventilated space, it shouldn’t be a problem

Slice the onion in half, like so.

Then cut the onion into planks, depending on the size of the dice (large dice, one slice).

When you grip the planks, be careful to hold it so your fingertips are not exposed to the blade of the knife and would be protected by your fingernails. Or, if you are a pansy like Ivy, you can use a fork to hold the onion.

Slice the onion with the grain.

Finally, turn the onion 90 degrees and slice again.

Congratulations, your onion is diced.

Questions?

Bathtub funk is fun!

Dear Home- Ec 101,

My bathtub is so funky, it makes James Brown look stodgy. Especially since he’s dead. But I digress. The yuck in my tub is so nasty, I’m afraid to take a shower, and my co-workers are starting to complain. Help me, Luke Skywalker Home-Ec 101, you’re my only hope!

Signed,

Princess Leia

Ivy says:

It just so happens that I was reading a blog post about this very issue today. TipNut tells us you can easily clean your bathtub with laundry detergent. The way to do this is by filling your tub with hot water, then adding 2-3 cups of a powdered laundry detergent that has enzymes. (to break down body oils, which is what is making your tub so heinous)

Soak that puppy overnight, then drain it and wipe it down in the morning. Head over to TipNut if soaking your tub in laundry detergent doesn’t work. She has a “Bathtub Miracle Paste” that just might fit the bill.

Oh, and Princess? Take a shower, already, your email smelled like pimentos and old feet. Ewww.

Isn’t that the sweetest thing?

Dear Home-Ec 101,

My inlaws from down South are coming to town, I need help! All they do is complain about how awful the food is here and how there is no ’sweet tea’ to be found. I’d like to make a good impression.

Signed,

I Like it Bitter in Minneapolis

Heather says:

Sweet tea is a cinch to make. The secret is adding sugar before you add cold water. Bring one quart of water to a boil, add six tea bags (I prefer Luzianne or American Classic), and immediately remove from the burner. Cover the pot with a tight fitting lid and allow the tea to steep for 10-15 minutes.

Now, the tricky part is determining just how sweet your inlaws prefer their tea. In our house we use 1 cup per gallon, but we’re of the lightly sweetened variety. Your husband should be able to tell you if they like sweet tea or SWEET tea. If it’s the latter, double the sugar.

Pour the steeped tea into a 2qt pitcher and add 1/2 cup sugar, stir until dissolved, and add 1qt cold water. Serve over ice and store in the fridge. This recipe easily doubles, but do you really want to encourage them to linger?

There’s nothing for dinner!

Dear Home-Ec 101,

I just looked in the refrigerator and found 3 eggs, some bread, and a quart of crusty old milk. There’s nothing for dinner! Help!

~Starving in Seattle

Ivy says:

Never fear, your Auntie Ivy is here. I used to peer in the refrigerator and see absolutely nothing to eat for dinner. I would send my husband in to the kitchen and he’d whip up some marvy dinner with all that nothing. I wondered how in the world he did it.

He showed me his dirty little secret: the Allrecipes ingredient search. You can put in ingredients you do have and have it omit ingredients you don’t have. It’s fab, I use it all the time, and I don’t have to send my husband into the kitchen anymore!

Oh, and Starving? Sounds like you’re having french toast for dinner.

Photo credit: Stu Spivack on Flickr

Where to Start

Dear Home-Ec 101,

My house is a wreck. I’m scared to open the fridge, I swear something growled at me the last time I grabbed a soda. I think a dust bunny ate the baby.

Help Me!

Signed,

Don’t Know Where to Start.

Heather Says:

I begin with the kitchen sink, it’s a small area and it can be conquered!

Empty your sink of all dishes, fill it with hot water and a little bleach.

Come back and read for a few minutes or empty the dishwasher, if you’d prefer.

After the hot water has had time to loosen the crud, drain the sink, and use a non-abrasive cleaner to scrub it. Don’t be afraid to use a little elbow grease! Now, if you have a sink like mine, you may have to use a mild abrasive like Bar Keeper’s Friend, or in a pinch, baking soda.

Finish by shining the faucet with a little window cleaner and wipe with a paper towel or soft cloth.

It’s a lot easier to face the day when you don’t have to shovel dishes out the way to brew a pot of coffee.

Now go find that baby!

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